Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year-old male customer went into explicit detail about the "adults only" programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming, and tries out on his 70 year-old wife. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML
Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML
Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML
Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML
Today, I complained to my girlfriends that my husband constantly wants me to explore his disgusting perversions, like making me call him "Daddy" or putting me on a leash. They all started discussing all the nasty things they'd let my husband do, then said he should find a sidepiece who's "less boring." FML
Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML
Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML
Today, I learned what my husband's "little side hustle" that he started is about. He's been using his gaming PC to generate disgusting AI porn movies with shit like monsters fucking women and other sick shit. It's like a sleazy Breaking Bad. Hope he enjoys the movies, because he's never getting sex again. FML
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Top comments
crasher41 0
Someone buy that man a beer!! Old people get horny too.
ZiggyMorrison 0
You should have tried to sell him more **** channels if thats in your job description anyway tell him theres one with old people on each other
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Comments (61)
I_am_stupid_also 6
Today, I was minding my own business doing a crossword puzzle when a young woman called and tried to get me to subscribe to cable, even after I told her I never watch tv. So I messed with her. FHL
Nico_Belic 0
This... This was epic.
Carl_Duker 0
i lold well at least he aint like ur grandpa or something so u should be happy about that
Raine_Sage 0
He was at work in a call centre telling you about this? =P dangling modifier oh noes
PaperxHearts_xox 0
Awkward...... x) Well, at least he's 71 and still going strong! it probably would've been a more productive call if you were selling Viagra.
rukusrazor 0
You're just jealous. /hot wrinkle on wrinkle action
pancakelover 0
Was it hot?
wut_fml 0
Old people need to love too. Don't be an ageist.
BaldOuting 0
I don't care if old people get lovin' I just don't ever ever ever want to hear about it!
BaldOuting 0
EVER!
ZiggyMorrison 0
I think everyones overlooked the fact that he can manage to get it up and 71 that right there is an accomplishment with or without viagra that deserves an award