Timing is crucial in comedy
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML
Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML
Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML
Today, while flying home, two little girls started chanting, "We're all going to die." I'm an extremely anxious flyer. FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
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Top comments
ChelseaXD 0
What a dick.
sammieheart 0
tell him that's not what his boss said.
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Comments (120)
Nyc__Princess 0
He IS your husband right ?
Aniblecoby 0
hahaha 22!!!!
deformedsurf 0
He could have only married OP because he got her pregnant. Or OP could have gone on a diet of snickers bars and diet Coke when after the wedding.
bluekiwi_fml 0
ppl change over time
CreateZ 0
So I'm guessing pretty people have finally discovered immortality?
WickedWendigoX 0
right then and there shout "decorve!!"
corytheboss 0
decorve???
sinjax 6
dyslexic?
sourgirl101 29
So did fear turn to anger? Awe, what a sweet husband. He was just trying to distract you from being scared. I bet it worked.
starile 20
smart!
DocBastard 40
To all the little kids telling OP to divorce, you clearly have no idea what it means to be married. This maybe why the divorce rate is so high. So go back to your PSP or MoH or WoW or whatever it is that you kids do in your parents' house and leave the serious discussion to the grownups.
CreateZ 0
Couldn't agree more. What the hell is MoH?
anorexicbarbie 8
Medal of Honor, aka a better game than cod.
xXSillyLoveXx 0
so true even, if im just a teen I know how serious it is
DocBastard 40
Weird- my "may be" mysteriously turned into "maybe."
snowboarder25 0
moh is weak compared to cod !!
yanksby7 6
Ok, I'm an adult who is telling her to get a divorce. It sounds like that is, at the very least, an emotionally abusive relationship. If he is that disrespectful to the woman he CHOSE to be with, I can't imagine how he treats his kids. I'll agree that people get divorced too readily these days, but this seems like a very unhealthy relationship that should be ended immediately. OP, time for you to gtfo.
ImaginaryFoe 1
#82, you are an adult who apparently doesn't understand what marriage should be if you think one sarcastic comment equals abuse and therefore divorce. It IS possible he is always rude but I personally like sourgirl's take on it. I could easily see my husband saying something to distract me from my fear. I agree with Doc.
kittydidit 0
DIVORCE
muhdoggin 0
WOW