Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
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Top comments
Rebecca1993 0
Aw.. I chipped a tooth once. My brother threw a scooter at my face...
Sfugius 0
learn to invest in beer bottle openers.
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Comments (34)
melissa_10 7
aww..that sucks when ever i drink i try to drink from a can instead of a bottle because i always hit my front two teeth with the bottle and im scared that i might chip one..lol
nefarious61 0
YDI And to think, you could've been at an AlAnon meeting instead.
mkjo111 0
haha fyl
boredomkills89 0
Damn.... FYL indeed
therkguy 0
It's understandable! I'm assuming you were drinking Stella, which would have a standard-sized neck, unlike the rest of the beer on the Rock, which have shorter, stubbier necks. When I go to NL I always dribble on myself, and when I come back to the mainland, I hit myself in the teeth. Worth it though ;)
tbagg74 0
well i mean, you live in newfoundland, ur lucky u have a tooth to chip
infantry831 0
jerk go kick rocks
kiik_fml 0
Which one's the FML? The fact that you chipped your tooth on a beer bottle of was drinking alone is a basement?
Maurop 0
both
ThorneCrossed 9
I love all the people saying ydi just because she was drinking