Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
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Top comments
Rebecca1993 0
Aw.. I chipped a tooth once. My brother threw a scooter at my face...
Sfugius 0
learn to invest in beer bottle openers.
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Comments (34)
Person1233 13
Please tell me you live in ***** Island. That would make my day, OP. (BEST ISLAND FRICKEN EVER)
fucentarmal 1
so much sadness, for those without basements, fyl.. if you are the kind of guy who might drink alone in a basement, i recommend old people bars...the conversation is about the same for the most part, but playing the jukebox is like farting in an elevator.
jollyjam1 2
Why would you do drugs alone in your basement?
Mx_Rider 6
YDI 1-drinking by yourself 2-drinking in your basement FYL 1-for chipping your toof RESULT = a buck toof bitch :B
Chfanfiction 0
Get help.
snafu57 1
for the record: you drink the inside, not chew the outside.
mleblanc 0
Not much else to do in Newfoundland other than drink in your basement alone.
karebear16 0
haha exactly what i was thinking
thesucker1994 0
wow what a classy lady
wh4t3v3R 0
#22: haha! OMG, I did not even realize this was a woman; lurking in her basement tearing bottles open with her teeth. Scary F her life. Look on the bright side OP: least its not your parents basement! Right?
errrratic 0
YDI for having no one else to drink with.
kiahhxx3 0
This is stupid. People drink all the time alone in there basement.