Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML
Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML
Today, a customer yelled and cursed at me, splashing spittle in my face, and to top it all off she wished “my mom would die in a fire.” All this because I accidentally spilled her milkshake all over her Louis Vuitton handbag. Apparently, it “costs more than my rent.” FML
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
Today, I was grumbling about how they apparently changed the recipe of my favorite lotion and made it all weird and sticky, when I realized that, no, what they actually did was design a bottle of shower cream that looks almost exactly LIKE that of my favorite lotion. FML
Today, not an hour after my girlfriend lectured me on boundaries and "my body, my rules", she threw an epic tantrum because I wouldn't let her pop a pimple on my ear. Apparently, only she gets to have boundaries. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
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Top comments
Kallian_fml 21
That woman is a genius! Well, for having the idea, not the getting caught part.
zahra_786 19
I wonder how long she has been doing that for & in how many stores! Quite clever but silly at the same time :).
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Comments (62)
stevothedevo 25
How dare you do your job! I'll pour shit on your head because I got caught out!
pokerface91 5
It's New York, what do you expect? That is a good idea though.
lissa_jade 22
... how long did you stand there and wait for this to happen? it's lotion, not water. it takes a little bit to get out of the bottle.. I think you had plenty of time to dodge any attempt at lotion being dumped directly on your head.
andiw 6
Umm, how much lotion could she possibly have dumped on your head? It was a sample bottle.
whyopposite 1
And now, why wouldn't she be allowed to do that?
RHCPmagik 0
Should of called security to drag her unruly ass out of there... I would of called them a cheap ass lol
BaDumTsss_fml 23
Of course this is in New York
ShannonBonnanen 15
Why would you wait for the whole bottle to empty on your head? Just move. Stupid..... Lotion is a bit thick it takes a little longer to empty out then a drink .