Today, I listened to my niece explain to me, in great detail, that the Titanic never sank, and that the year it supposedly did was a prediction of 9/11. She learned all of this from some whackjob conspiracy theory videos, and acts like she's an expert now as a result. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, I finally got to see my favorite aunt after months of her living far away with her new boyfriend. She now believes the Earth is flat, gravity is fake, the government is run by reptiles, and that vaccines are the devil themselves. She won't stop trying to convince me of her conspiracies. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, I found out via Facebook that my once-favourite aunt has fully bought into the QAnon bullshit about the "stolen" US election, bible quotes and all. We live in the UK. FML
Today, my sister told me she doesn't think her mom died the way she was told. Uncomfortable, I declined to give my 2 cents on the matter, saying, "I'm sorry" and, "Oh sh!t, sorry." She started gaslighting me about how I wasn't listening, and I told her I was sorry for being a piece of shit, so she then gaslit me about that too. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML
Today, I made my niece cry when I told her that snakes are just tails with faces. She won't stop. FML
Today, I corrected someone about a "fact" I'd learned online. They immediately pulled up a search on their phone to prove me wrong. It appears that I'd been confidently spreading a meme as if it were the truth. FML
Today, I told my long-distance friend about the flooding in Florida due to the Supermoon. He's a Flat Earther and despite proof, denies the coincidence because he believes the moon and gravity aren't what we're taught. FML
Today, I discovered that apparently my six-year-old daughter actually believes that the United States is the only country with advanced technology. FML
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Top comments
Elizabeth Burley 22
I myself love conspiracy theories and sometimes call myself a conspiracy theorist, but not even I'm that crazy! Of course it sank. its on the bottom of the ocean. its like the same people who say the holocaust didnt happen or dinosaurs never existed. if course all that happened, we have hard proof. ugh. i swear, some people.
RichardPencil 32
Send her a bunch of “Bye, Felicia” videos and memes.
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Comments (11)
Fata Morgana 1029 9
Want to get her off your back? Make up an even crazier conspiracy, then tell her to Google it. I can almost guarantee you some nut already thought of it and made a website. You could lose her for hours, if not even days, over a Mickey Mouse/Doritos/Illuminati/mole people conspiracy.