Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I unlocked the door at work and was immediately hit with the most disgusting smell I've ever encountered. Imagine the worst fart you've ever smelled, coupled with sewerage, and mold. The windows don't open. I have the door wide open and have used a whole can of Glen 20. It has done nothing. FML
Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML
Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting, and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, I have a new office-mate. I'm not particularly sensitive to odours but he wears so much cologne, I nearly throw up every time he walks in. Only 8 more hours till fresh air. FML
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Top comments
aFatFuck 0
unspeakable things happen in there...
forkbrother13 0
air freshners. lots and lots of air freshners. i love you.
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Comments (107)
DragonWolf16000 17
fabreeze in any form it comes in. spray wall plugs.
haphazardly 15
Wondered why there was a job opening, did you? ... The last one didn't make it home...
gatorgirl7563 22
A) Buy an aerosol can of air freshener with a dispensing button that is a squeezing gun-trigger design instead of a push button design. B) Get a zip tie. C) Bring both to work. D) Wait until end of day, right before closing to confirm emptiness of bathroom and hallway. E) Retrieve scent can and zip-tie from hiding place. F) Tighten a zip-tie around the trigger. G) Open the men's bathroom door and throw your Fresh Meadow and Wildflower grenade inside. H) Run away and look innocent. I) Celebrate that your freshness grenade will spray until can is empty and remove the stench! You're welcome.