Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML
Today, I was told I needed to start carrying bandaids with me at work because practically every day I hurt myself. FML
Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
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Top comments
skorpien 1
What a self-absorbed bitch. Sorry to hear OP
Yeah_Thats_Me 0
Awww did someone get a paper cut? Just kidding, those things hurt.
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Comments (94)
DocBastard 40
Oh, give me a break. How deep could a paper cut actually go? Hold some pressure on it for a minute and it will stop bleeding. Stop being such a whiny drama queen, and maybe your flirtation with your coworker would actually be successful.
Raddaya 3
I'm putting a curse on you that you will get papercuts between all your fingers. You will then come back and see if you can still say that sentence without crying.
Doortje 30
That sounds like an awesome curse, can you teach me how to do it?
jisaac09 25
Bastard, you're exactly right. The reason paper can cut you is because its soo thin, and thin wood fibers lack the strength to cut that deep. And who even uses Band-Aids? Part of a paper towel/napkin/TP and some tape works wonders, and you're not seen as a winey little bitch.
DocBastard 40
Raddaya, you can take your curse and shove it up your clueless ass. I'm a surgeon, and I also do woodworking (building furniture) in what little spare time I have, so I've cut my hands more times than I can count. Yes, paper cuts suck. Yes, they hurt. And yes, FML is designed for people to complain about their little misfortunes. But that somehow doesn't seem to stop me from calling people whiny. I don't cry to anyone for a bandage for a paper cut (or any other minor injury). That just screams "drama queen" to me. And so do you.
imac619 2
I play a doctor on tv......
imac619 2
I play a doctor on tv......
RedPillSucks 33
He's a Drama Queen Paper cuts, inbetween co-worker glares like a laser beam Guaranteed to pown your mind Anytime
Gabbymcbride 2
Doc your my new hero. your hilarious. :D
kweenbitch 0
....not your usual charming self today. stressful day got you down?
Raddaya 3
Oh my god, you so right! Obviously everyone is a surgeon and woodworker and is used to having cuts all the time, right? Right, guys?
DocBastard 40
No, but that's what you get for making stupid assumptions and casting ridiculous "curses" at someone. You end up looking like a fool. That's *your* curse. Enjoy.
Raddaya 3
Oh my God. I look like a fool on a website. My life is gone. Seriously though, I admit I thought you were trolling. However, papercuts do hurt a lot for a normal human being, and it is entirely possible for them to bleed. The OP may not have known they don't usually bleed a load, and wanted to stem the flow before it bled out.
lexxxijade 0
You sir, are a douche bag.
Szaszaspasz 26
I have to admit my "band aids" consisted of scotch tape and Kleenex at work more often than not.
Doortje 30
So that's what hitting on someone means? I've been doing it all wrong then.
hellogoodbye1996 6
blood not bleed
AnAngryDolphin 0
how bad is your grammar? bleed was right you f-ing retard. go back to 6th grade
iNekoGamergurl 0
No, 2nd grade. Maybe even 1st.
arakay 0
Do us a favor and go back to kindergarten.
MissNicky_fml 0
Dont correct people if your wrong dumbass
xk75 4
eh the OP may be a creepy mouthbreather who lecherously glares at her all day.
Raddaya 3
"Don't flatter yourself. This is not what is called a nosebleed."
imac619 2
So this begs to ask, how many times have you hit on her before with some lame excuse? YDI.
graceless_monkey 0
Either she is beyond self-absorbed or she has low self-esteem and was trying to put you down to make herself feel more comfortable/powerful. Either way, she was rude. Paper-cuts suck.
littlebigperson 0
u know what u do? first get the band aid ur self and ask her why n e 1 would want to hit on her. if she calls herself pretty just call her ugly. some people think way 2 high of themselves
ryno2004 1
ydi for cutting yourself to try and hit on a girl...
randomaccess745 0
that was.. really impossible to read. spell out your words in your next comment. it's Internet etiquette and kind of a rule here on FML.