Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss, who said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML
Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML
Today, after I've spent years cultivating my reputation at work as a hardass who's good to his team, as long as they're competent and own up to mistakes, my mother came as a customer and suddenly I'm a kid all over again. She even tried to pat my head and ask if I'm eating enough. Now my team all keep smirking at me. FML
Today, I brought my mom to my work’s annual party. She insisted on meeting my boss and introduced herself as my "very supportive, overly involved mother." To make it worse, she gave him a lecture about how I was “just too shy” to ask for a raise. My boss is now both confused and terrified. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML
Today, I had to deal with yet another day of people looking at my name tag and saying "You know nothing, John Snow." with a shit-eating grin, like they're the wittiest people alive. Then I had to deal with my boss telling me to lighten up, because it's "just a joke". FML
Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
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Top comments
funkyness 0
Haha. Kids say the darnest things!
rayrayy_fml 0
That's when you pipe up! "Oh, hahaha! No, sweetheart! That's Janice at school! Remember, the mean girl who always picks on your brother in class? Noo, this is my boss, Janice!" THEN YOU PRESENT A BIG WINNER'S SMILE!
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Comments (49)
DeadMansCrack 4
I kind of agree with what the others are saying. You shouldn't say this kind of stuff in front of kids because at some point, they might repeat it. But ohh well, I'm just gonna say FYL.
ktg_6172 0
yeah... fyl and buy a muzzle
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Kind of YDI... if you're going to complain about your boss in front of the kids, the least you can do is tell them to stfu about it when you take them to see the boss. XD
ajhbrowneyedgirl 0
wow
iilovehaters 0
white jesus
Person1233 13
Janice should be able to take a hint. But seriously, YDI for not making your kids wear these T-shirts: http://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_janice_heart_t_shirt-p235759628149896441caih_400.jpg
justdancebbyx3 7
Maybe you shouldn't be such an idiot next time and NOT complain about your problems in front of your kids.
alexman6364 0
#1 who said that? I'll give u a hint he had a show named after him.
humorizer 14
Bing Crosby!
fmlette_fml 0
Wow, #15 ..
bassfah 0
It could've gone much worse though. "complain about you all the time" wasn't that bad