Today, I was on a Zoom call. My sister offered to go get lunch and I told her, "Don’t forget the baguettes." One overly sensitive coworker swears I used a derogatory slur that sounds the same. I didn’t. However, I’m still going to be investigated by my boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a big job interview on Zoom. I forgot my name was set as "Fat F***". I joined the call and the older lady interviewing me was very offended. FML
Today, I was on a work call when my coworker made an accidental Freudian slip. Thinking I was muted, I muttered, "That’s what she said." I wasn’t muted. FML
Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML
Today, I joined a work call while rushing breakfast. I muted myself, or so I thought, until my boss asked who was “chomping.” I froze, mid-bite, while everyone waited. My coworker said it sounded “nutritious,” which somehow made it worse. I didn’t speak again. FML
Today, during a job interview on Zoom, I tried to sound passionate and said, “I eat marketing for breakfast.” The interviewer then asked what I have for lunch. I panicked and said, “Analytics… and sometimes interns.” I haven’t heard back yet. FML
Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML
Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML
Today, I was on a Zoom call with my mic muted. Or so I thought. After about a minute, I started ranting about how Janet always gets credit for my work. Janet was in the meeting. So was my boss. None of them was receptive to my criticism. FML
Today, one of my super obnoxious coworkers tried to snitch on me and record me for “being lazy” on the clock. I was sitting in my car, while eating trail mix ON MY BREAK. FML
Today, I farted during a Zoom call in front of our client. I thought mic was muted. My Team Lead had lot of things to say to me. FML
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Top comments
FinkiusMaximus 9
Sounds more like "bigot" than anything else.
bethrh 49
If it's the word I think it is, they still sound different enough
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Baguette lives matter!
bethrh 49
If it's the word I think it is, they still sound different enough
rotflqtms_ 21
Which race are they discriminating against with the word you're thinking of that sounds similar but not similar enough? I'm trying to think of one, but I can't...at least if I know the race, I'll be able to look up the word, haha.
bethrh 49
It's not against a race, it's against gay people
rotflqtms_ 21
oh, I get it now! thanks! can't find the comment as the FML app is iffy, but I got the notification in my phone at least, haha.
bethrh 49
haha, no problem. the app has been seriously lacking recently
RikDog 8
I still don't get it!
musicfanatic301 7
It’s the derogatory term for being gay...
Kristoffer 35
If those sound remotely similar, you're pronouncing one of them very wrongly.
AlanShore 12
Ahhh, I've been checking back here all day for some kind soul to fill me in. Once you did, I realised that the FML didn't mention race, I just inserted that in my head.
FinkiusMaximus 9
Sounds more like "bigot" than anything else.
Mathalamus 25
Baguette can and has been used as a slur.
tounces7 28
Just tell you're boss you're British and start smoking in front of him and you'll be in the clear.