Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300-pound man walked out, shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry" to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Today, I was at a crowded restaurant and rushed to the bathroom. In my haste, I didn't notice I had walked into the men's room until I was washing my hands and a guy walked in, gave me a puzzled look, and said, "You're brave." FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
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Top comments
5t3ff1k4h 47
Oh dear. That's a shitty situation.
Iknowthings 0
I wonder how much he weighed before he went in?
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Comments (116)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Inb4shitpun
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Lulz, sorry mods. I couldn't resist. Everyone else just FTR: No, I was not calling you-know-what. >.<
Fortuitous 0
Ah! Jane, did you call me *bleep*?! How dare you, you *bleep*! See, I moderated myself. ^_^
pcakewafflebacon 0
*** da mods they be haters
MrSassypants 34
Comment Moderated by Mr.Sassypants. Do I get bonus points because inmoderated my disturbing coments which would've got trolls to go on my side and trollol? 12- I never knew you were a mod! Or maybe you're tricking me because you're a grammer Nazi and if you were a mod you would've edited the poorly written comments wouldn't have you? (Like mine)
lalagirl912 0
I don't get what you did... :(
Haterman123 0
lol
CRiiSPY_fml 0
Your dp looks like naruto bs sasuke to me... And its awesome!
5t3ff1k4h 47
Oh dear. That's a shitty situation.
fakeaccountX 6
Ha, I bet he weighed 350 pounds before he went in.
jazmixer 0
didn't your mom ever tell you to go before you leave the house.
ATL_chris 6
grab the toliet paper and go in a forest
5t3ff1k4h 47
Mindfuck. I totally had the first comment, and I even said something about being in a shitty situation. *cue twilight zone music*
ily1210 10
atleast he was kind !
Icyyy 0
He didn't say 'Beat that', at least.
jewban 3
omg 34 chocorooms are sooooo good
scribz 0
chocorooms, combining the joys of chocolate and fungus into small bitesized packages.
deathcab7 0
chocolate and mushrooms? is that even possible to taste good? :/
iRichiq 3
ZING!
billybob171717 0
Yes, and don't forget he gave you fair warning. HE could have just gone into the snack store, bought his beloved funyuns and let you walk into his poorly-aimed hell.
pocky_1111 0
nice pun haha
princev 0
one time me and my friend both took ***** and clogged the mcdonalds bathroom, he them peed on the toilet paper and floor, and I jacked off and blew my load all over the toilet seat.
isallwaysme 27
first Shitty situation comment to ever be thumbed up in history.
MarineWifey88 3
This is why I avoid public restrooms.
overthelimit 3
especially the gas station. everyone takes a dump there.
WolfsGuns 0
hey overthelimit, horseback riding is not a sport. :P
TookiMyCooki 0
shhh! she'll find you!
billybob171717 0
see, that's what i don't get. If everybody normally tries to avoid gas station bathrooms, then why are they always so horribly used?
Iknowthings 0
I wonder how much he weighed before he went in?
Phustercluck 11
Fun fact: The average bowel movement weighs less than half a lb. :D
JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0
Good to know? o.0
MeganCello 8
0.o If it's in your town, drive home. If you're on a road trip, by nose plugs.
5t3ff1k4h 47
buy* ...
elmorous 0
Phew ... THAT was close 11. It's a good thing you caught that little mistake.
5t3ff1k4h 47
They already thanked me. No need to be sarcastic. You'll thank me too, one day.
Fortuitous 0
Oh dear. There's no way you're going to plunge yourself out of shit that deep.
JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0
I see what you did there. @_@
XxDevilxXGt 26
nice deep thought of the day :P
White_Fury 0
Had to drop Fat Albert off at the pool eh?
sstymest 0
that was my brother
mskake 0
Haha you were going in there to do the same thing, he just beat you to it. Gross though. Maybe run in the gas station and buy some air freshener, lol.
janelly16 7
I hope you didn't go in
C6Racer 0
FML.