Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300-pound man walked out, shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry" to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Today, I was at a crowded restaurant and rushed to the bathroom. In my haste, I didn't notice I had walked into the men's room until I was washing my hands and a guy walked in, gave me a puzzled look, and said, "You're brave." FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
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Top comments
5t3ff1k4h 47
Oh dear. That's a shitty situation.
Iknowthings 0
I wonder how much he weighed before he went in?
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Comments (116)
Sorrows 5
Hah, that is when you would turn around and walk away.
BOKENTDUTTON1995 0
hey you should totally txt me 19705540649 or add me on facebook Bo dutton is my name and I'm not actital creep=)
1337gamer 0
Canada!!!! I'm canadian too lol. win!
angels21 0
today I really had to use the bathroom and stopped at a gas station, I had angry diarreah and was in the bathroom for about 15 minutes. I walked out as someone was walking in, i blurted out "I'm sorry" and felt like an asshole afterwards. fml
CRrawsum 7
What did his size have to do with it? I'm pretty sure a 200lb dude could do the same amount of damage.
CRrawsum 7
xD unicorn kisses...
MeganCello 8
@11, thanks for correcting my dumbass mistake. *pokes phone* god damn touch screen.
PiiMPiiN_DA_H03Z 0
HAHAHA
amerwin 3
I live with a 300 pound lineman capable of producing ***** that resemble a pringles can. He once had to break one in half with a stick in order to flush it. I feel your pain.
newzealand 28
^ this is gold!
5t3ff1k4h 47
Oh my good lord... how is that healthy to drop a load that large?
amerwin 3
No idea.. kind of weirds me out even thinking about it. I would be worried about suffering a rectal blowout trying to pass something like that.
MissErikaHart 0
a pringle can?!?? omgosh 0.0
elmorous 0
Pringles can ... ******* epic!
zakkyzebra 11
haha umm... what the hell do you feed him?
HomeAl0ne 20
Cans of Pringles I assume...
bigbadtim 7
Why do people say 'Take a dump'? You're not really taking anything, you're leaving something behind?
TheLetterZero 7
What's truly impressive is that the OP could tell, from a glance, that the man weighed exactly 300 pounds. Quite the remarkable skill...
steelersfan78 0
Well actually 300 is to one significant digit. scientifically speaking, he could have weighed anywhere from 250 to 349 pounds. To signify that OP meant exactly 300 pounds they would write it as "300." or 3.00*10^2.
pizzasammy 0
win for science
TheLetterZero 7
And if he weighed 250-349, the OP would've said "around 300." But he didn't. Win for common sense. Besides, I was making a joke.
goldhighways 0
and you know he weighed exactly 300lbs how?
matnchrist 0
hahahahaha