Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300-pound man walked out, shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry" to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Today, I was at a crowded restaurant and rushed to the bathroom. In my haste, I didn't notice I had walked into the men's room until I was washing my hands and a guy walked in, gave me a puzzled look, and said, "You're brave." FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
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Top comments
5t3ff1k4h 47
Oh dear. That's a shitty situation.
Iknowthings 0
I wonder how much he weighed before he went in?
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Comments (116)
crushingpeanuts 0
I'm pretty sure it was because he took so long haven't the greatest Duce of his entire life.. let the man enjoy the simple moments in life, damn..
TempestRain 0
Haha. win.
alexFYL 11
So what did he do?
diegomanguelo 5
omg that is hilarious. "I'm sorry" lol
larrysangel 0
@ #97. Well said!
billybob171717 0
I think he cleaned it but he just couldn't finish in time. Right?.... RIGHT? PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!
cottoncandymp 0
hahahaha plug your nose!
johnnie254 7
this is a gas station dude. why do you want to shot in gas station?
Wastingtimer 0
Yeah, about that. . . Us men, we don't apologize for taking the last of the paper. . Hate to say it, but I think assumptions are made safe on the obvious for this one >.<
Wastingtimer 0
Yeah, about that. . . Us men, we don't apologize for taking the last of the paper. . Hate to say it, but I think assumptions are made safe on the obvious for this one >.<