Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
HAHA owned, that's not so bad though. She's 83 and has probably been through enough to not care.
goode48 0
how the **** do you do that haha thats some creativity
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Comments (148)
SpliffyMcBlunt 0
I think we have it all wrong about old people. They have seen penises and vaginas hundreds of times and usually they will make jokes about them. My brother drew a picture of a man with a spliff an my grandma said " hey is that a spliff?" "and is that me running for the spliff?"
elara15 0
I'm glad nobody else has apparently followed your thinking that your grandma is such a fragile old woman who would go weak at the knees over the mere image of a penis rendered in grass.
toolrunner 0
I thought you had to be 13 or older to post on this site. What an infantile move. Hopefully grandma gave you a spankin for such a useless joke. Of all things as well, why a man part if you're a boy.
craziiifaceee 0
Wow, nice work.
GR3453m0nk3y 4
wow u dumbass lol thats pretty funny tho just next time u try that make sure there's enough gas!!
tobusy2chat247 3
why a penis? you like those?
robhammer 0
stfu 17, what are you 10? u have no sense of humor
BloodRedSpark 9
Wait, that's funny?
zander09 0
Electric lawnmowers - they would not fail you like this!
harryman04 0
@#18 an electric lawnmower? never heard of one. I think you are bullshitting. unless it's like an outlet lawnmower. then **** that. but ya YDI for being a dum ****.
Jakojan 4
lol. calm down 137 and get out from under your rock. electric lawn mower = lawn mowers that run on batteries like a car has. jebuz
janie197 0
i agree with #4. I've seen way too many FMLs with "Today I was shaving and thought it would be funny to give myself a Hitler stache. When I finished and went to shave that off too, my razor ran out of batteries." This is pretty much the same, and I don't believe any of them.
Bitts 0
I call fake on this one...
spAzz93 0
d00de. that couldn't really happen as if. if it did, you got 0wN3D. you suck