Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML
Today, I got a call from my grandmother saying she locked her keys in the car and I needed to bring her the spares. After an hour bus ride, involving me missing my stop and getting temporarily lost, I arrived and handed her the keys. I brought the wrong ones. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML
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Top comments
asoptavlo14 6
Bitches be crazy.
Hollywoodgirl79 18
I hope the cops didn't show up. Sorry, man.
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Comments (136)
l0v3p4in 7
Silly girl, that's not how you command a getaway car. You need some sort of threatening weapon to make sure your driver does what you say. Tsk tsk. What are our future criminals learning nowadays?
KendalKeller 3
Failblog hehhehehehehhe
Awsumuzzie 12
She has the right to report you to the cops, if not more. Why would you allow an innocent girl to sit into your tactically positioned peaceful looking car? I bet this is how you pick up all the women you murder. If it wasn't for her angel that made you clear your throat, she'd be in some black bag on the side of the highway! The shame...
crypticundead 4
I really hope this was sarcasm
Awsumuzzie 12
I think this would be hilarious if I was serious! But alas, it is only my misread sarcasm.
redbluegreen 41
You're so racist! A bag? Why not a tarp or suitcase? How dare you discriminate!
Awsumuzzie 12
Let's not bring the choice of color into this equation either.
capodanno 4
It amazes me how many people cannot pick up on sarcasm.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
#76 - Yes, because it has nothing to do with the fact that we cannot hear a vocal tone nor see a facial expression when we are reading text, coupled with the fact that sarcasm relies heavily on BOTH of those things in order to be easily broadcasted. I was raising my eyebrow until I got to the "tactically positioned car" bit, and then I just smirked and shook my head. I don't really blame anyone who can't "pick up on sarcasm" when all we can rely on is the text from a person we don't know, have never talked to before, and could very well be completely serious (because there ARE people that think like that in this world, and the internet tends to bring them out of the woodwork.)
Sumo69 9
Maybe she thought you're a Palestinian
ashleybabe85 0
shes spun
TopoX84 7
lmao... U should of made the Wario laugh, she would of freaked out even further
musicluvr2000 11
So that's how you treat women? By kidnapping them???
musicluvr2000 11
Before you down vote me, note that I was being sarcastic
Birdie_Sage 0
I feel for the little girl. Luckily, it was you she had learned her mistake (maybe?) from.
gonad_gobbler 1
why did you just clear your throat op? If someone mistakenly entered my car i would've put on the creepiest smile i could muster and in a deep, seductive voice say,"well hello there"
Birdie_Sage 0
LOL. With a little wink. Just imagine how scared the girl would be... ????
Swiftly 0
"Does the sweetie want a sweetie?"
downtime 13
Damnit 51 I already had an ache in my side, you just made it worse :(
_MidnightLuna_ 17
Why do people keep assuming it was a LITTLE girl? It clearly only reads "girl". No "little", sorry folks.
jessimica642 8
Because it sounds like something a kid mite do
BlanketHogger 0
Why would a kid be riding on the train ALONE If she was intact little then her mother would be very upset and speak with you.
BlanketHogger 0
Why would a kid be riding on the train ALONE? If she was in fact little, then her mother would be very upset and speak with you.
jessimica642 8
Maybe if it was a kid her parent told her to go sit in the car and she got into the wrong one. Or maybe she was traveling alone I use to take the plane a lot alone when I was younger.