Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, a table of girls complained to the manager about me. The complaint? "He's not hot enough to work here. We want a sexy server." The manager agreed with them and sent me home. I might lose my job because of a table of shallow women. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML
Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML
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Top comments
Wreckless_fml 6
That's when you spit in their drinks.
IKickPuppiesHard 16
You could have walked over to the table and said "Ill be sure to find you a good looking waiter but if he declines the offer to serve a table of middle aged unattractive women then thats not on me." If they are superficial enough to say that so close to you they'd probably be to shocked someone finds then ugly to worry about actually filing a complaint.
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Comments (111)
Dawnxxoo 11
awww way to find out you're not sexy:p
perdix 31
News Flash! You're not sexy-looking. Just keep repeating to yourself, "I'm sexy on the inside." That's how I get by -- I think I'm saying it to myself, but some people say they hear me mumbling it.
kittykatkupkake 1
I'm sexy and I know it x]
brandoneyez1 25
That's when you walk over and say, hi my name is sexy I'll be your server tonight......
EvilCupcake8361 9
no....just no
DocBastard 40
It's ok. You didn't want a once-in-a-lifetime, mind-blowing, all-night fuckfest with all of them anyway.
5t3ff1k4h 45
^ Who doesn't? Bow chicka wow wow...
moderngayfare3 2
Ha ha I agree
CbDemyx 1
Casually dispose of the articles you retrieve from abandoned tables onto their heads.
Junicarie 3
:) There will be other opportunities, promise. Maybe their standards are too high for their own good.
FarSide 23
And maybe OP looks like a baby turd.
krysxkatastrophe 14
You can be my waiter if it makes you feel better. I'll bring my pretty friends.
TipOfTheHat 10
Should have told them "I wish I had sexy clientel, any way you ladies can switch tables?"
menm0i 0
Well at least your still sexy : ) just not sexier!