Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a piss in my toilet, and my cat came and jumped up onto the toilet bin and looked at what I was doing. Instinctively, thinking she'd jump in or something, I grabbed her while I was midstream, causing me to piss on her, and on my hand. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, my cat pooped in the shower. How did I find out? I didn't see the poop when I got in. I slipped in it, and smacked my head on the tile wall. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
I can just imagine OP sitting back down only to hear a *squish* and then that *Wa Wa* music play and OP puts their hand on their forehead and shakes their head
Pelreskovich 11
That's shitty. Could be worse, could have pooped on the cat. That would have been wonderful to clean up.
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Comments (117)
thatoneitalian 3
Maybe you shouldnt crap with your cat on your lap.. Just a thought..
iseyixes 18
Well next time your cat poops scratch its ass....
Uramonkey 11
Maybe you should give your cat some privacy in the can next time, maybe then he will give you yours. ;)
Bajee 10
That's disgusting. Next time close the door so ur cat doesnt come in. You wouldn't want a repeat of this event.
pyrt93 4
How about not letting your cat in the bathroom while you're in there. Just a thought.
RaVeN53 7
The cat literally scared the sh*t out of you
jaredofmo 22
True dat.
sparklecherry 4
Why don't you just close the damn door.
mg32112345 0
See this is why I have a dog and I'm never going to get a cat
chels1994 11
This whole situation just sucks ass.
TheRealBrianGrif 7
That's why you need a dog