Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You could have put a dimple in tree, then there would be two in a million.
d4m4s74 12
If you're one a million, there are six thousand like you
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Comments (102)
DumbingOfAmerica 9
You do realize my fat ******* face is a birth defect. I'm a moron.
platypusguy 5
I have dimples? It's not that u common
soldiat_fml 17
Still can't decide whether he was trying to be cute or creepy...
The_F3rris 11
You gotta love old people sometimes. Lol
crashley21 10
As sucky as it is that your friends won't let you live it down, it is funny. You would probably do the same thing if it happened to one of them. Just laugh it off and hope you don't encounter that man again.
loadedroar 7
Haha, love it!
4Sharks 4
If you're one in a million, then there's 7000 also creeped out yous somewhere. Maybe that helps? Haha
untamable_mare 4
Haha! You need better friends! Perhaps ones who don't attempt to kill you, or them.
thatgirl4433 7
I love this one
misslysiak 23
Oh god. I thought you said nipples, that would be so much more awkward. Especially if your friends started doing that as well