Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You could have put a dimple in tree, then there would be two in a million.
d4m4s74 12
If you're one a million, there are six thousand like you
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Comments (102)
KawiRacer69 5
hi
Twilight_Sparkle_fml 8
^ Prime example of wanting to be first.
sonicgreg 12
^prime example of a pony
thehawkster11 8
Well that's unfortunate.
obnum 19
We can say that about a lot of FMLs...
Wishez 12
I dare say every post on this website is unfortunate.
perdix 31
You could have put a dimple in tree, then there would be two in a million.
Death_Hoe_Inn 10
1 in 500,000
bjhosking21 4
No shit Sherlock
Sinamoi 18
Rude...
damn_homie 2
That was just creepy. I wouldn't have let him get that close to me
andyyroxx 20
Agreed. Keep distance. And wouldn't it be one in 500 000? I'm assuming OP has two dimples.
Snoopy0718 14
78- I have only one dimple on my cheek
BlueFlatts 20
Maybe it started as one in two million when the old man was eying OP's special dimples from across the café. But then the old man whipped out a calculator and found out how special OP really is.
EsotericBrent 29
4 - Really? Assuming OP's referring to dimples in the cheek, this came across to me as a sad, old man giving a really special compliment. I can understand OP doesn't like getting made fun of for it, so FYL to that, but I personally believe that OP was given a huge compliment. If it were any other 'part' of her body, that's a completely different story, but I'll assume that this is obvious.
d4m4s74 12
If you're one a million, there are six thousand like you
TheFirstSamurai 18
Isn't it 7000 now? Sorry to be pedantic, I just thought the joke should be updated.
taylorgangg 9
Yikes, that's super creepy
beddington 7
Hope it wasn't you back dimples.
yankfan89 27
Or the dimples on her ass.
mothertruck 6
At least he didn't grab your ass and whisper "one in a million"
perdix 31
Unless she had "ass dimples," butt those are far more common than one in a million. Every chick with cellulite has 'em.
shmoelover 13
And then the bigger question would be why her cellulitey ass dimples were on display to strangers in a cafe.
TheDrifter 24
Have you seen the waitresses' uniforms at Denny's? They make cellulite prone behinds look like play dough that's been beaten with a bag of nickels.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe it was Bike Week at Myrtle Beach.
jem970 19
I dont know weither to laugh like crazy or be disgusted... I'm going to go with a nervous half giggle.
perdix 31
#50, go for the crazy laugh. This thread is hilarious.
maggySNP 12
Looks like Herbert the pervert is back in town
In_some_bullshit 13
HA! I hope I am Not his next prey, I got lower back dimples....
codyjohn17 5
Let's hope he doesn't change his name to Chester the molester.
natromy 5
YES! I totally read this in his voice!
Holla_B 7
Yikes!