Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. After hundreds of passive-aggressive comments, my boyfriend and I went into the kitchen. I started complaining to him about how his parents were horrible and mean. Little did I know, his parents had followed us in and were right behind me. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
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Top comments
SexySlayer1248 18
You might want to try a redo when your dad calms down
ElricMustang 23
That poor microwave :/
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Comments (47)
tehdarkness 21
Don't cower under her judgement. That doesn't sound THAT strange. Everyone is weird; it's much easier to just not care what people think!
The_Paladin 16
Try again when your dad is having a better day, or in a public restaurant where he has to be more careful of how he acts.
perdix 31
It must be rough dating mental health professionals who can quickly diagnose issues so quickly.
perdix 31
#14, er, I meant "accurately."
gracehi 33
The worst part is you can't honestly say with certainty that she's wrong.
worldclassrager 41
Well it's one day...
wildmonkey 16
Why was he so upset anyway? Lets hope you get a do-over when he hasn't just blown a gasket or something.
pinkshirtbadman 15
He clearly was upset because the microwave wouldn't shut the hell up. What with its constant beeping every thirty seconds. I KNOW THE FOOD IS DONE I'LL BE THERE WHEN I GET THERE! It could happen to anyone
pistachiopanda 19
Yelling at inanimate objects can be stress relieving... Shit. I'm insane.
cakefete2 31
Litmus test OP. If she stays, she just really love you.
ifavela89 13
hopefully she understands your dad was having a bad day. and try again later
tomgun_fml 16
He's angry not pshco