Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
Today, on a date, I told the guy I could swim. He suggested we race. I agreed to impress him. I jumped in, immediately panicked, inhaled water, and had to be helped out by a 10-year-old with floaties. He asked if I lied about anything else. FML
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
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Top comments
Drode 0
#2 How does he deserve it? Oh I gotcha, OP teaches kids to swim so he deserves a face full of child piss....... But man that does suck. At least you were blowing bubbles and none of the water went in your mouth. Still pretty gross
TRAX_fml 0
thats gross
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Comments (107)
Jordn_fml 0
#6, thats so gross.... =s Why would you admit that? To the OP: that seriously sucks, but I guess that is just a hazard of the job right? ^^
audiogasmic 0
I would then say, Well it's your piss what're you scared of? And for future reference, peeing in the water is gross. If you need to pee, tell me and I'll take you to the bathroom Kids are disgusting.
Mz12 0
Assuming that the water in the pool contains chlorine and the little kid peed about 7 seconds ago, then you should be fine. Chlorine decontaminates it and the germs are killed within about 7 to 8 seconds. If the water didn't contain chlorine then sucks to be your, FYL.
BaldOuting 0
gross and hilarious all at once!
elfuzzo 0
This is why pools are chlorinated. I second the call to man-up and blow some bubbles.
wajohns09 0
"Dirty Mouth, Clean it Up" get some Orbit gum :-)
summer66_fml 0
oh gross!!! didnt you notice the water was a little yellowish or abnormally warm???
cucuto89 0
7 seconds for chlorine to neutralize it dude
rukusrazor 0
I'm just saying that if you teach kids to swim, and you are putting your face in the water blowing bubbles, you shouldn't be surprised that you are actually blowing piss bubbles. This is a R. Kelly wet dream right here.
01100110 0
i lol'd