Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML
Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML
Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML
Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
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Top comments
crazy4books23 13
Weird, I accidentally had toenails in my mouth once too. I feel your pain OP.
ninjuh_wingman 29
A Pringles tin is like the best toy ever besides the ever popular cardboard box.
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Comments (117)
crazy4books23 13
Weird, I accidentally had toenails in my mouth once too. I feel your pain OP.
Harpy20 24
1-Foot fetish gone wrong?
sens3sfailing 25
Because of rule 34, all I can think of right now is how somewhere, someone gets turned on my toenails in their mouth...
tsim14 4
"turned on by*" or "turned on by my"?
Harpy20 24
51- we can safely assume that no one knows what 'rule 34' is. Sadly, from this we can also assume that the world needs more interwebs.
kdog333 1
what i wanna know is, why would you give your kid an empty pringles can?
Teyros 24
Kids will play with anything they can get their hands on. Atleast OP can say she took one for her kid incase he ended up eating the toenails somehow. For that OP, *claps hands* respect.
Teyros 24
She* oops.
xrudeboyrock 29
Same. Clipped them into a soda can that I put on my nightstand to toss out later. Subsequently forgot, and tried to drink from it in the middle of night -___- It's gross, but I don't think it's that uncommon!
sens3sfailing 25
57-both??? I don't know. I wasnt trying to be funny, its just now whatever runs through my head when someone brings up a fetish of some sort
peopleplease 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That is pretty disgusting lol. Kudos for him for being lazy and not throwing his toenails in the garbage
fuzz97 23
That's not how you use the word "kudos" bro
fuzz97 23
^^ that's how it's done. take notes.
Enslaved 38
People act like they've never carelessly clipped away their nails and just planned on-- one day vacuuming them up. Maybe it's changed with more and more girls getting pedis at salons?
peopleplease 4
I was being sarcastic. Perhaps is was a bad attempt at it, bro.
shyeahh_fml 19
32 - I still clip mine on the floor and eventually just vacuum it up. It's the best way.
sarah6786 14
No it wasn't a bad attempt, I got the sarcasm right away.
andiewithlove 21
I used to clip mine and intend to vacuum them later, but then I went looking for something under the couch and took a toe nail to the knee. True Story.
MatteKudasai 17
37- Is that sarcasm too?
sens3sfailing 25
Must..resist...arrow...to knee joke!!!!
ribbons 23
@32: I clip mine outside, preferably in the grass. I've never had to think about cleaning them up since. Isn't never even having to remember to clean them up later truly the best way? :D
arrowintheknee 5
I used to clip my toenails and then vacuum before i took a arrow to the knee. 58 i couldn't resist im sorry
pickles1994 18
An arrow*
mod3rator 2
I think a toenail to the knee would be more appropriate in this situation. Haha
imperialtl 12
Take notes while I take tokes of this marijuana smoke...
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Do you people not see #53's comment? She already did the proper version of the "arrow to the knee" joke, before anyone else mentioned it...
citymayer 7
I hope you had some listerine on hand...
sugarshane007 20
Some things even mouthwash can't cleanse.
GhettoXmuffin 7
Some morphine would would probably do the trick.
Docbee 11
Bleach too... might be overkill though.
citymayer 7
9- Yeah you're right. Mouthwash will never get rid of the memory of crunching on toenails. Bleach might though...
BusinessTurtle 8
Everclear alcohol should do the trick. Enough of that and it'll be as if that day never happened.
I_Hug_Cats 26
dirty mouth? clean it up with orbit. (:
tjolivas 9
And he didn't throw it away...?
strawberrywine22 30
I imagine if he was so lazy he had to put them in the Pringles can to begin with, he was probably too lazy to throw them away. Better than my husband...he leaves them all over the floor!
onlychildFTW 34
The floor? Gross. Where did these guys grow up? A barn??? I've never done either of those and I never would. That's disgusting.
crazytwinsmom 25
Better than finding them on the kitchen counter. I'm still trying to figure out who!
Teyros 24
I don't know about you guys, but I leave my toenail clippers in the bathroom. So I don't go anywhere else with them :P
sugarshane007 20
Ah the flagrant taste of toe-fu. Nothing quite like it.
strawberrywine22 30
When I was a kid I thought tofu was toe-food. I thought it was the stuff between your toes, and that your toes ate it.
andiewithlove 21
You must've had a disturbing childhood! D: Or maybe that's just me. I hate feet. -____- The thought of Toes being alive and eating things.......uuuuughhhhhh.
sacrosanct2 23
Who does that..
iOceanus 18
Obviously OP's boyfriend.
Soloman212 28
Unless 6 means to say "Who eats their boyfriends toenail clippings left in a Pringles can?", in which case the answer would be OP.
ninjuh_wingman 29
A Pringles tin is like the best toy ever besides the ever popular cardboard box.
onlychildFTW 34
It's better OP ate the toe nails then her daughter.
MatteKudasai 17
44- OP ate her daughter too?!
SarahAlleen 8
56: I laughed so hard xD
newbiehere99 6
69: thanks for letting us know
bandofsand 10
Guess this is a time where after you pop you CAN stop.
Parky03 9
There's two thing I don't understand about this. 1- Why were you going to give the baby an empty can of Pringles? 2- Who cuts their nails into a empty tin? I guess some people collect...
strawberrywine22 30
Have you ever been a child? It's almost as good as a cardboard box! A kaleidoscope or telephone can only be what they are, but a Pringles can, can be anything in the world!
catatonicsleep 17
1. to play with 2. lazy people who don't want to get up to throw them out
Enslaved 38
Cardboard boxes are the best fun ever! I remember turning large empty boxes into gingerbread houses etc...
Carmstro 13
Hell, I still play with cardboard boxes and Pringles cans.
Enslaved 38
Ugh! That sounds super gross. Truth be told, I wouldn't be able to resist those yummy crumbs either (eye).