Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I’m a stay-at-home dad who packed my kid’s lunch while half-asleep. At pickup, my child told the teacher I packed “Daddy’s special sandwich.” Turns out I'd wrapped my own spicy tuna sandwich instead of the kid-safe peanut butter one. The teacher handed it back gently and asked if I wanted it “for later.” FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 6 year-old and a 9 year-old. After they went to bed, I started working on a project for on my laptop that was due in 12 hours and fell asleep. I woke up to a dog licking my peanut buttered keyboard and the two kids sitting in the corner giggling. FML
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
Today, we had painters in the house. My 4 year-old grandson kept telling me, "Grandpa ate the painter's sandwich." While the painters were running an errand, my husband ate their sandwich, then left to go to work. I was left to explain/apologize to the painters that my husband ate their PB&J. FML
Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML
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Top comments
Isandri 29
Well, you did your job anyway. At least you strengthened the kids' immune system. How on earth would anyone assume that it was a dog treat?!
Spark_Slicker 19
Maybe that was the first time he let the dog eat out of it to just finish the rest? Hopefully, at least.
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Comments (40)
Hildy93 21
Yuck. Makes you wonder what else he let the dog lick
The_Skittish_One 27
NONONONONONONONONO. I bet you don't get paid enough for that!
skinnychick123 18
hope for your sake that was only the first time?!
sharond23 10
so the parents came home and the first thing the dad does is to go for the peanut butter jar? usually the first thing would be to take the babysitter home.