Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
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Top comments
StagGT 13
Well... shit.
sweetbliss3 37
well.. it's not the best thing to deal with but if she's not a dick she'll get over it.
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Comments (14)
Anastasiia Bogolepova 10
My current boyfriend of 4 years pissed himself the first time he stayed 🤦♀️😂