Today, I found out what happens when you sleep with a girl your chemistry major friend likes. He put silver nitrate in my body wash and shampoo. I look like I survived an explosion in a Sharpie factory. He says it'll come off "in a few days". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen asleep in my arms and everything was perfect - until I noticed the water around us had started turning yellow as she pissed herself in her sleep. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML
Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML
Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML
Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML
Today, I've been sleeping with my drug dealer from high school who I still buy pot from for the past week. He made me go down on him a few days ago and he smelled funny but I didn't say anything. Today, he told me he only showers 2-3 times a month and he thinks he's a genius for it. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML
Today, I woke up to find I'd peed the bed. My girlfriend did the warm water trick to me, where she put my hand in water while sleeping, which can make you piss yourself apparently. As I went to get up, I noticed she'd also painted my toenails pink. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Ugh. That's just being an irresponsible chemist, and an abuse of knowledge. Small amounts of silver nitrate are an annoyance, but every chemical has its dangers.
askullnamedbilly 33
Well, OP, I'd say the prank wars have just begun. Get him back, and may the odds be ever in your favor.
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Comments (93)
Rayth 19
What happened to taking things over?
DragonicPlague 9
You guys are taking things a bit far in the comment section. It was meant as a prank, even if it is a terrible one.This is his friend, and most likely he knew before talking to the lady that his friend liked her. I doubt the friend wants to do any permanent damage, and was just a little annoyed at the someone they like getting with one of their feiends
LyricaSilvan 30
It's a matter of the fact that the friend reacted so severely. According to the other chemists in here, that substance is potentially very harmful, and this "friend," as a chemistry major, would had to have known that. Yes, it's kind of messed up to sleep with someone your friend likes, but doing something that could cause long-term damage to someone who did that is neither mature nor socially acceptable.
Lenaisabitch 2
That's actually pretty dangerous and could have lasting effects.
maroneuse 10
Fill his shampoo with hair removal cream.
NotmadYT 17
Don't be a dick then... That was a horrible thing to do to a "friend"
Fuhkyoo 17
not op's fault that his friend doesnt have game. he should have made a move instead of getting pissy when someone else did. some chemist he is, couldnt even whip up a love potion, what a goof
InfiniteSunshine 32
If you like someone, it is up to you to have some courage and actually do something about it. You don't get to claim another person just because you have feelings for them. And you don't get to be mad when your stalling and lack of action causes you to miss your chance. That actually screams unstable, controlling, and possessive. Unless you're clearly in a relationship with someone, other people can do whatever they want with who ever want.
simsgirlgem 25
Your friend is immature
beachtrash 7
The ladies love precious metals. Tell them you're now literally covered in jewelry.
blueforensics 10
Everyone's freaking out about how he could've been seriously burned by the chemical or had a permanent stain. You're forgetting his friend is a CHEMISTRY MAJOR, which means he can easily figure out how much to put in his shampoo without causing burns or permanent staining. Not to mention, you can BUY silver nitrate online, it doesn't mean he stole it.
One_In_Three 24
This is why you don't **** around with nerds.
LyricaSilvan 30
It's still not an okay reaction, though. He didn't need to stoop to being childish about it; he could have just talked to OP and said "hey, you knew I liked her. Wtf?"
PhoenixChick 26
Actually, unless the roomie is ALSO OPs doctor, he does not have all the necessary knowledge to make sure that it was a safe application.
snarkytruth 37
#31 You sure put a lot of stock in the word "Major". It really doesn't mean squat. For all we know it could be his first year or his first semester or even his first week. Declaring a major certainly doesn't automatically make him any good at it either. Plenty of majors fail and wash out. he's still just a student. (an immature and irresponsible one at that) And there are no studies that calculate prank dosages only LD50 50 or toxic levels or various major side effect doses effecting major organ failure. Those are based on averages anyway there's no telling where OP falls in any of those ranges. As a college student much less a chemistry major he needs to have more respect for the materials he's working with no matter what they are. He needs to grow up.
bbambastic 16
Get him back by sleeping with her again
Unknown939 19
I think that even though he shouldn't have done this, you can't blame him for being a bit pissed off because op had sex with the girl that op knew his friend had a crush on.