Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML
Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lonkite101 14
Flash her one of those things from Men In Black.
Spongii101 12
Surgery must be pretty stressful. There's a lot of pressure involved. If anyone should be allowed to swear at work, it should be a surgeon.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (328)
DocBastard 40
We swear all the time. I curse at the goddamned patient for having difficult anatomy, at the bloody situation for being difficult, at the worthless assistant for not helping me well enough, at the ******* anesthesiologist for not keeping the patient still, at the moronic tech for not having the right instruments ready, at the idiotic nurse for not having the right stuff in the room, and at myself for cursing so ******* much.
flame2011 6
Oh my gosh, doctor house is real? Score for humanity!
ImTheAlpha 30
I read this in House's voice.
MrSexyPants 14
I feel like Doc would be Dr. Cox from Scrubs.
zingline89 18
Actually if you've ever read Doc's blog you'll see he hates House
alwaysrunnin 3
I definitely searched for Doc's comment. It would probably be the most reasonable
Eorlas 31
I agree, Bastard would most assuredly be Dr. Cox.
hollywoodt1ts 15
****** a! I can appreciate a real person who is a doctor. not just someone who's by the books.
ICastillo 25
Just tell her everything she saw was a dream. I'm sure she'll believe you she is child.
alexicanaaa 7
I had my gallbladder removed a year ago and I was already out of surgery but I was in a waiting area waiting for my room to be ready and I was just starting to wake up from the anesthesia but I hadnt moved or opened my eyes but this old lady nurse was cussing in every sentence. I was like whoa is this legal?!! Hahahahahh.
phatdaddy62 23
Did they teach you about punctuation in your high school in Alabama?
alexicanaaa 7
Yes, yes they did. But you know what, sir? I typed that pretty fast and then I realized that it was one long sentence. I just didn't think anyone cared enough to actually make a remark about it. I'm guessing since you had to add Alabama to your remark that you think I'm an illiterate redneck? Well, guess again. My high school in ALABAMA is the school of excellence. So I'm ever so sorry that one run on sentence bothered you that bad. Have a nice day. (;
tbenson0628 14
u go girl!! lol
alexicanaaa 7
Hahaha well thanks!(:
Spiral_Thoughts 19
Alabama: 1 Oregon: 0
stormchaser24 24
I don't think she will remember. She will probably think it was a dream.
gizmo62_fml 1
your full of shit
icantfindwaldo 0
Op is a ******
racinghart09 4
"Watch me do this one blindfolded!! "
lunchladyliz 2
Not sure why you're worried, you're not the one who was awake for part of surgery. FHL, today she woke up during surgery to a doctor who instead of remaining calm, cursed in the OR.
Cloudberry 10
It's a ******* scary thing when the patient wakes up during the ******* surgery. And OP certainly did not freak the **** out or whatever the **** you're implying by "not staying calm". If anyone has the right to curse in the world it is OP and people of his profession.
dna629 3
Why would she wake up anyway? If u put her to sleep properly it wouldn't happen, ur fault
monster_tamer 11
1. Surgeon isn't in charge of anesthesia. 2. You don't just "put someone under". You have to monitor their bodily response to it and adjust levels accordingly, which can be harder with some patients than with others, since people gave different levels of tolerance and the anesthesiologist has to make judgment calls on how much to give. 3. You're a dunderhead.
cass85 8
That's the anaesthetist's fault, not the surgeon's. You fail.
mk58 31
Monster_tamer, thanks for giving me another insult to use! *goes off calling people dunderheads*
AaronGuy 12
It's not his fault she woke up, it's the anesthesiologist's.
tdawg6751 3
Your a dumbass
Mommyof2_91 10
Umm no. Anesthesiologists put the patient out, and people react differently to drugs. She very well could have been out, but the drugs could have worn off faster because her body may metabolize it faster.
Mommyof2_91 10
My app just showed me all the other comments, so I just realized I pretty much restated what everyone else said. Damn...
Arrawyn 12
Poor girl, and poor you. Good luck and hope that girl isn't a bitch and doesn't tell your boss