Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML
Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
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Top comments
lonkite101 14
Flash her one of those things from Men In Black.
Spongii101 12
Surgery must be pretty stressful. There's a lot of pressure involved. If anyone should be allowed to swear at work, it should be a surgeon.
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Comments (328)
lizzlegirl 9
Convince her it was just a dream(:
sweetmama88 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You better hope to god that she didn't remember , or kiss your job goodbye.
CptZoe 10
Surely the anaesthesiologist would be the one losing hos job rather than the surgeon. I'd say the bigger deal would be waking up rather than the swearing.
CptZoe 10
Damn it, his not hos. *Hides in corner*
bisoumoi 1
Honestly, it's not the surgeons fault.. It would be the anesthesiologist's. Hence his cursing being the reason he's scared.
CaptTeemo 10
Stuff happens during surgery. It's not just going through the motions. Plus, every patient is different and handle drugs differently. After hearing stories from my dad (who is an anesthesiologist) he always says how this person needed more of this and that person needed less of that.
rebel_belle1974 5
She won't even remember, that's some good stuff they give ya
sidewaysponytail 0
She now thinks you're a pedo bear.
NoisyNykkii 10
By any chance are you DocBastard?
NoisyNykkii 10
It seems I was missing a comma there....oh well.
DocBastard 40
No. If my patients start to wake up, I do the only reasonable thing possible: I kill them. Then there is no chance of them remembering anything.
NoisyNykkii 10
Typical Doc.
thisisafunnyname 12
Would you also use the word "curmudgeonly"?
XtraEzeee 8
Can we please go one Medical related FML without someone mentioning DocBastard?
Rowdey 10
Nykkii, stop being so noisy.
happy2468 21
By any chance did you read someone else already put this comment?
drewfus2 6
99 - Why would you want that?
peachyFML 17
Why? He's everyone's favorite Doc.
BubbleGrunge 18
Lots of people wake durning operations, and I'm sure lots of doctors have potty mouths! Don't sweat it, like most have said she probably won't remember and if she does she will probably think it was a dream.
DocBastard 40
Where exactly are you getting your information? Please allow me to educate you a bit - "lots" of people do NOT wake up during surgery. It's an extremely rare occurrence.
PussyPredator 6
I realize it's not a good idea to argue with DocB, but quite a few people wake up during operations. They don't wake up fully, but eyes do open. They will not remember it after the operation.
PussyPredator 6
And to add on, surgeons that have performed surgery on me, have told me that it's a common occurrence, but greatly depends on the amount of anesthesia given.
BubbleGrunge 18
See I, also, have woken up durning surgery. I vaguely remembered one time it happened, but I just remember a flash of light and nothing else. The other time I didn't remember waking up but was told I had. I understand the majority people do not, but a lot of people do. Oh and, Doc, I got my information from my surgeon, who informed me about 40-50 precent I patients experience an awakening feeling during surgery, though they may not actually awaken they have a awareness for a few moments .
evilhobbitofdoom 4
DocBastard, according to statistics from 2000, around 20% of people put under general end up awakening before schedule. However, due to Versed, not even half that remembers it.
DocBastard 40
That's what I mean. "Waking up" does not mean "moving around a little", because a LOT of patients do that. I'm talking about "anaesthesia awareness" where you wake up and are aware during surgery. Bubble, I misunderstood what you meant by waking up. Apologies.
BubbleGrunge 18
Nope no worries Doc, prehaps I should have explained the awareness thing a little better. :)
wlddog 14
I can back DocBastard up on that. Have had a few surgeries and every time I wake up I have that clear goop in my eyes. It seems my eyes open and I try to move around, but I never remember anything. I like to think I woke up because the hot nurses were making out on top of me.
redwingsfan88 9
I hope to never wake up during a surgery.
flashback.miss 28
Nah, I dont think you have to worry about that. She's a kid, going through surgery and put under powerful drugs. She'll be more happy that someone was helping her after she wakes up. Being a surgeron is much quite stressful and I think it's understandable why you swore.
sup_life 0
Karmas a bitch..
Mearemoi 14
And what exactly did OP do that was worthy of karma? I'm fairly positive you have used at least one vulgar word in your life.
Shenannigoats 16
...What?
superswagbro 7
What the **** are you babbling on about? That sentence doesn't fit in just any situation.
amwinn 2
If she had versed in her system I'm sure she won't remember anything,