Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML
Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML
Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine, and that she'd never seen it before. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML
Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
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Top comments
Why29 0
That is what you get for being a hypocrite, jackass.
Aldrasio 0
So rather than telling her you're sick of her smoking in your room, you rat her out? YDI
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Comments (549)
sampson9911 0
You're gettin' tired of your roommates smokin' WEED, dude? You deserved that one, ya 'lil crank fiend. Karma's a ******' bitch.
bohgunit 0
you tried to ruin your roommates life over a plant that god made. haha owned smoke weed every day of my life.
Jessyca_fml 0
lol...that serves you right...don't call and report somehting like that when you yourself have drugs in your room yourself.
baileycw 0
you're a dumbass, weed is not bad. in fact, if anything adderall is MUCH worse than weed and i'm prescribed.
Allan_is_Awesome 0
You're a sucky roommate, glad you got what's comin to ya...
FnckinVal18 0
.
FnckinVal18 0
You should probably not be a weed nazi. You've just experienced kharma at it's best. So congratulations, Hitler.
fuckass 0
Didn't you learn in grade school? Tattle-tales always lose. And damn adderall is WAY worse than pot.
fuckass 0
Didn't you learn in grade school? Geeks always lose. And damn adderall is WAY worse than pot.
porkins 0
I hope they kick you out of college and that your roommate owns the fast food chain that you end up jockeying fries for one day.