Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML
Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
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Top comments
KaylieeJay 4
Adding to what #5 said: Unfortunately this happens way too much. Someone is in a car accident, unconscious and the car has seconds before likely bursting into flames. No paramedics are around, but to save the person's life, a stranger pulls them from the wreck just before the car bursts into flames. Guy has just had his life saved, but because the stranger was trying to save his life, not worry about his spine- the guy in the accident can never walk again and has to be in a wheelchair forever. Decides to sue his "saviour". I think there are laws now that protect actions that were taken in order to save someones life as long as there wasn't anyone else who was more qualified around and that it was life threatening like in the above scenario. But back on topic, this sucks but it's better to take a little bit of time out of your life rather then the kid not screaming but this time with a child molester. Not to mention if a stranger approached my hypothetical child and security just let them go after hearing "No I am not a child molester" I wouldn't be very happy either. But I think an hour was a little excessive without calling in higher authorities.
Zebidee 9
Nup. Screw that mentality. Isolated incidents of people being dickheads after having their ass saved wouldn't stop me from helping another human being that was in trouble. Buying into that hype makes the world a crappier place.
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Comments (79)
zeta24 0
did u REALLY spend an HOUR explaining it? Doubtful.
smoker316 2
thats sucks the big 1
Stupidpeopleanno 5
Don't mess with Paul Blart's mall!
hollylollyxoxo 0
where's paul blart when you need him?! lol.. I've done that before though, I have helped a couple small frantic kids find their moms. the moms are always like "where have you been?! I told you not to run off!" and they never once thanked me for helping their kid or just making sure they don't run out the doors into the parking lot or some weird old guy doesn't hustle them away... not to kenton they always blame the kid for disappearing instead of just taking responsibility. moms today are something else...
hollylollyxoxo 0
mention* not kenton
fthku 13
You don't deserve it, but you're an asshole. Of course, if the cop would have just ignored a real pedophile and he ended up hurting a child, everyone would turn to say "Oh, that idiot mall cop couldn't even do his job". Everyone yells "do your job" until it interferes with their own convenience. ******* hypocrites drive me insane.
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
The best thing to do is ask a woman to ask the child. Sad but true.
kingtz 6
exactly! there are a million women at the mall. Let one of them help the girl and save yourself any awkward explanations next time.
fthku 13
Right. Women are incapable of crime, we forgot. Also, we don't know if the kid is a girl or a boy.
dudeitsdanny 10
People are less likely to believe a woman would be a pervert. Sad, but true. Personally, I'd probably just take the kid myself, but I'm still young enough to maybeeee avoid this crap. But if I felt I had to take the child to a woman to avoid this, I'd go with them: I know I'm not a pervert, but I don't know what the woman will do. It's a stereotype: Women are nurturing and incapable or hurting a child. Doesn't have to be true for the cop to believe it.
TheLetterZero 7
@29 Yes we do. Try re-reading the FML. OT: You are a perv if you go around calling random little girls "sweetie". The mall cop wasn't the dumb one here.
fthku 13
#43, you're right, I misread. You are a perv if you call a kid "sweetie"? Are you serious?
Mr_Saikaly 35
well if you didn't notice, he's in Saudia Arabia and I'm sure it would be easier to talk to a child than to talk to woman ;)
fthku 13
#65, don't talk about things you don't know, especially if what you think you know is prejudiced.
Mr_Saikaly 35
I know exactly what I'm talking about :)
Schiffy 18
And this is why mall cops aren't real cops
only1onyx 0
feels like a repost!
fried_lime 0
Maybe you are and you just don't know it yet.
KiwiDingo 0
at least her parents taught her stranger danger!!!
AceArctic 4
Stranger Danger is so stupid. The majority of sexual assault is from someone the one being assaulted knows. >.< I hate the time I was born in.