Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML
Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML
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Top comments
latuka 0
if it smells like sex maybe the cops can find some evidence: semen and so forth and catch the bastard! lol that sucks ass. esp. about the shoes. lol..
SadfaceFML 0
maybe they banged an octopus and they didn't have anything to wear after!
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Comments (124)
GabriLee 0
hahaha, that is sooo something my friends and I would do... I mean, not steal... but I always hide my shoes at dances if I take them off because I am nervous someone would steal one of them. My friends and I would definitely hide shoes at two different spots in the building. It'd be hilarious to watch someone freak out over it :P But it does suck for you OP... I'd be pissed. Hope they weren't your favourites.
blackdogassault 0
Why is this a FML? You got your car back. Who cares about six shoes and sex smell? You can buy new pairs and get rid of the smell. "Today, my car got stolen. I never saw it again. FML". -- Now, THAT'd be a FML.
maskjmgvwrfp 0
that sucks buddy, i've done the same before! hahah but i found it, after alot of looking..
beck162 0
Whoever stole the car was right, it is pretty funny that they only took one of each shoe...
wccorganist 0
#2 - Octo = 8 There were 6 pairs of shoes in the car. Good job.
OperationNicole_fml 0
#22 If I had 6 pairs of shoes in the car and I'd never be able to wear any of them again, especially if they are worth over $120 like most of the shoes I own, that would warrant an FML. Nevermind the sex smell, that's just nasty.
LyuboLove 0
this is why i keep life simple. i have two pairs of shoes, plus one formal pair. and i'm never wearing more than one, so they can't get stolen.
m0nicam0nster 0
#25 stop getting so technical, #2 was funny PLUS, obvi the human who did the octopus was chivalrous enough to give their 2 shoes so OBVI the octopus had 6 + 2 = 8 shoes to wear HA!
Kgirl2cute 6
go #28 :D
m0nicam0nster 0
and yeah #22 until youre in this situation, be quiet. geeze ppl have to practically die, have everything stolen from them, or kill a partner during sex in order to have an "acceptable FML" anyone who says something isnt FML worthy is just jealous their dumb stories didn't get accepted. come on now.
pokipoki 0
the thief probably annoyed that you wear different size than him.. and decided to play cruel jokes on you.. what a jerk! feel sorry for you dude...