Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML
Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML
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Top comments
latuka 0
if it smells like sex maybe the cops can find some evidence: semen and so forth and catch the bastard! lol that sucks ass. esp. about the shoes. lol..
SadfaceFML 0
maybe they banged an octopus and they didn't have anything to wear after!
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Comments (124)
Mikebiff19632 0
dude what a smart theif.. kudos to him..
pippymiskers 4
it smells like sex! your mom must be proud to know you know what sex smells like lol
Nickyxy 0
Please enlighten me on how sex smells?
mohit88 0
Smells like sex...sex has a smell?
umbilicalbiotch 0
hahahahahahah, thank you for the laugh, sorry for your loss and i only wish every criminal were this clever. Not only did they steal your car, they robbed you the pleasure of wearing 6 pairs of shoes. Good one guy....good one.
Nadya_N 0
i am so sorry about ur shoes.... but thanks for finally giving me the motivation to clean out my car of my shoes and clothes :)
blehbleh18 0
ahahahahaha. dass funny azz man.
DestroyedCherry1 0
I know thats bad and all but that was funny
TheBigDJ 0
lol what a bitch
farhil 14
#25, what if it was a threesome and the two girls wanted new stylish ******... I'll leave the rest to your imagination....