Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML
Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML
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Top comments
latuka 0
if it smells like sex maybe the cops can find some evidence: semen and so forth and catch the bastard! lol that sucks ass. esp. about the shoes. lol..
SadfaceFML 0
maybe they banged an octopus and they didn't have anything to wear after!
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Comments (124)
blackdogassault 0
#29 - I'd be glad enough to just laugh at this. And I think the guy who got his penis grabbed by his teacher was way more effed up and there was none of those you listed. I'm not jealous. But you're furious for no reason. You should calm down. And I agree with #26... $720 loss IS FML material.
afj67 0
that's messed up. total evil genius, but really ******. sorry dude!
xosamanthaaa101 0
smells like sex? yuck! well i guess you have an excuse now to buy new shoes.
jSOPURE 3
One witty criminal. Sorry. =X
chula525 0
sorry abt what happened but thats too funny lmao
summer66_fml 0
how do you smell sex???
anna16_fml 0
..what does sex smell like?
fml911 0
oh yeah..? it smells like sex im sure you would know.
s_quire 0
wow. maybe i should reconsider my habit of using my car as my shoe closet. how do you guys not know what sex smells like?
SadfaceFML 0
This is number two again (hehehe) @ 25 and 38: Do you walk on a fours? Dun think so. Octopi must have at least two free hands! And about the shoes... Did they have sex in there too?