Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML
Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
Today, after having surgery, I called my family to tell them I was out, safe, and on my way home. The first thing they asked was if they could "borrow" some of my pain meds. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Just put the TV on Jersey Shore. The stupidity will make you forget all about your pain.
EllyMo 15
I keep ferrets for this exact reason.
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Comments (108)
iDerp 3
Use the force. Never failed for me.
BayleeWasHere 1
I can see that.
GoW_Chick 15
.... are we on a after school tv special ?
ThecomingofTan 9
This is where life alert would come in handy. They might be mad that you aren't suffering from a heart attack, but oh well. Those pills aren't going to pick themselves up.
perdix 31
What a pain in the ass you are! I wonder if there's a pill for that.
fancyclown 9
One of those times you wish you had the elasticity and malleability of Mr. Fantastic
SirLongRod 0
Someone payed attention in English 101.
heyyyaubrey 9
isnt malleability like being able to bend? why the hell would you use that word if it means something about wires -__-. you have it all wrong man..
carnage1108 0
Grab another pill...
ThatLooksSticky 16
I believe OP meant she knocked the bottle of pills on the floor, not just one pill.
notsorandomguy 18
Watch as random comments keep popping up on your FML and read other FMLs... That ought to keep you distracted OP
rubberduckie94 13
Just grit your teeth, roll off the couch, and grab them. I have been in similar situations. And by the way pain mess makes Jersey Shore fun.
perdix 31
Flop down on the floor, grab your meds and take a double dose, followed by a swig of Jack. You'll be flopped on the floor like a dead fish, but you won't give a shit.
rubberduckie94 13
I said almost word for word the same thing to her, but it has disappeared somewhere in fml land.
perdix 31
My magick is very powerful, heh-heh-heh. JKJKJK, sometimes that shit happens. A couple days ago, I wrote one I really liked and it never made it. What can you do? Keep writing, that's what you can do.
rubberduckie94 13
P
rubberduckie94 13
Ah. My screen froze up and I could not stop that. Notice above you it showed back up. You do have a very powerful magic.
Fosterman 1
Wow dont you have a phone with you ? That could help