Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML
Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was, and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML
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Top comments
manb91uk 22
Well... Did you smoke up? The family that flies together... probably raids the fridge together too, I dunno
ThrottleJockey 36
It's a Christmas miracle!
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Comments (11)
manb91uk 22
Well... Did you smoke up? The family that flies together... probably raids the fridge together too, I dunno
09051308288 17
That is not the right way to make up.
ThrottleJockey 36
It's a Christmas miracle!
exileonmainst 16
Did you also have to come out to him as a straight person?
xemnas1997 5
I mean that's better than a lot of dad's out there
wightkid 12
I don’t see how this is an FML
Lobby_Bee 18
Give him a break, if he was a good father he wouldn't have left. Now that he is back, at least he is trying. A second chance is what he needs from you.
Meghan Pappas 7
I agree with that as long as he begins to prove that he really wants to be in your life and does it the right way
tarabella 7
i don't get it......where's the FML in this????
UDIRTYMUFFINS 8
I know exactly how this feels ??????????
Lee Elliott 4
might be as deep and spiritual as he gets, if you want it, take it.