Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, looking out of my window, I spotted a fire raging in the building across from my apartment. Grabbing my phone, I dashed out to the balcony, only to slam into the screen door instead. After calling 911, I sprinted back out, only to clock the door a second time. FML
Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML
Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
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Top comments
MissFortune_fml 0
Ouch. If it makes you feel any better I walked outside once when the sliding screen door was closed. It was night time and I didn't see it. I ended up taking it with me. :x Glass doors are still more painful.
HarrisonVR 17
it's because his name is icemage. dumber ****. also if this person had been 'getting some fresh air' there would be so many less ydi's, as if this couldn't happen to a non smoker. stupid
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Comments (41)
shaynaann 2
Haha. It was about 3 in the mornin and I was out smokin my medical.. And my uncle let the dogs out the sliding glass door.. I realized this and he locked me out.. In -15 degree snow! For 7 hours with just a jacket. I deserved it
Callyn 47
Look next time.
soldiat_fml 17
BURGLAR!
cwl727 33
Did they laugh?
mashfan6507 17
Just as well smoking is bad for you!
keegnanistan 17
I'm guess you weren't smoking a cigarette...
vmorgantank 15
If it makes you feel better I did that in New York in front of many people
Mal2003 17
I think you could've waited until morning, but what do I know about smoking?