Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
wrgfml 0
Sorry he was such a jerk. He was probably real nervous and blurted. At least that'sy hope. Congrats on the bazongas.
bummervacation 10
I think you were better off without that asshole.
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Comments (132)
ThatLooksSticky 16
I wish this was one of those FMLs that ended with the OPs age. I'd love to see "I'm 12." at the end of this post. Ha!
x_missystaceey 0
pedophile .
EvilDave 13
If the OP is under 12, then yes, but it is doubtful that a child under 12 will have big ****. If the OP is between 12 and 14, her father might be a hebephile, but again it is doubtful that a child under 12 will have big ****. If the op is between 15 and 18, her father might be a ephebophile. Seeing as he made an inappropriate comment on her anatomy and did not mention having sex with her, he is rude, but not necessarily any of the above.
purityshannon 0
cool dad dude. NOT
Waffle817 0
sounds like you have a great pair of bozongas and would not mind seeing these
forgotten_addict 1
wow what a bitch take a compliment, haha just kidding that sucks I advise you to stay far away from your creepy dad, just saying
allapologiesmygi_fml_fml 4
a new song. sing it to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer". Daddy is a perv from the country. he left us when I wad young. You he is only a bit weird. But Mommy and me know he's a creep.
Diablo232 0
at least he's talking to u it could be worse than him noticing ur tats.
taniaaaaa 0
If it was anyone other than your father that said that to you, I would have said to just take it as a compliment and be glad that you have big boobs, but BECAUSE it's your dad that said it. AWKWAAAAAAARRD. o.0 Your dads a creeper hunn.
zanguard 0
Your dad is a winner due to his use of the word "bazongas".
2riteluvonherarm 0
did your mom ever mention that he was a pedophile?
EvilDave 13
Pedophile? That word you use, I do not think it means what you think it means.