Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
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Top comments
MarkTheMintMan 21
You know what's more shitty than your situation? The puns that will come with this post.
justcommenting19 19
Does your name in any way correlate to this FML?
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Comments (42)
Teyros 24
Darn op. That's one way to explain no toilet paper, that isn't your fault!
HoboMeth 36
Socks
yenze 18
Pants. Sorry i thought we were just naming random clothing.
TabooSushi 24
Detox is fun, isn't it?
InfiniteSunshine 32
So there's multiple stalls in your work bathroom, and they're all empty of essential products for the bathroom? My issue here is, who lets it get that bad? Who lets everything get that low, especially in the washroom, where problems could clearly arise. If there's janitorial services at your work, someone isn't doing their job. If there isn't, it's the whole staff's job and everyone really needs to pay more attention.
zebra3_fml 7
is anyone else more curious about the origin of the name "fish *******" than the actual outcome of this FML?
SexyCheeksIzKool 15
Squits ?
lysx84 24
Surely the context and the comments explain this?
Neesalun 20
Paper towels will do the job, you know.
born_hustla 26
What did your boss say? How's your relationship with him now?
Bunnyluver 20
I couldn't help but giggle at your name! What do you mean by, "fishtities"? lol
anonymoussqueak 16
I mean at least it was just as awkward for the boss as it was for you.