Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML
Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sunshyne84_fml 0
try mouthwash?
red_apples 0
Now you're scared of lemons.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (175)
nsforever138 0
#27.. nd u would kno this y?
roflcopterzzz 0
Here's a ******* tip: don't point the **** toward your eye, brain surgeon.
ertw 0
wow, I'm not normally a bitch but give your boyfriend ****** blow jobs!!! you realise that you could just ask him to give you some warning so that you could make sure you aren't pointing it in ur eye (not that I know why you would seeing as thats what mouths and **** are for...) and if you think it tastes bad, just spit and gargle some water... I mean we have it easy compared to guys... they don't have a CHOICE but to taste our stuff, and I imagine that some of it tastes pretty bad depending on the chick... ok done being graphic...
ertw 0
and #21 that happened to me too.. but i ahd just had a yogen fruz... so as vomiting goes it wasn't that bad loll
ImaTrainwreck 0
I think it's hilarious that your fear is getting seman shot in the eye.
that_one_dude 0
How ironic....right?
Jllybn 0
You don't have to give ******** if you don't want to it's just a nice thing to do for him. Some of the people on here act like they will die a painful death if they don't have some sort of sex every five minutes. I don't get why people are confused by #27's comment, it's pretty obvious that they said they have done both so why would you ask why do they know that?
Sunchild1235 0
hehe number 118 your funny! Oh I and if cum DID taste like chocolate their would be a lot of satisfied people in the world...I ******* love chocolate!!!!
graciegirl 0
hey 73... pretty sure you can't die from a yeast infection
whatever2468 0
FYL, that sucks. #14 - there's a website selling a t-shirt that says that #51 - it's "I'll melt in your mouth girl...not in your hands," not hair.