Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML
Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
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Top comments
sunshyne84_fml 0
try mouthwash?
red_apples 0
Now you're scared of lemons.
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Comments (175)
brandonmurphy94 0
that musta been some nasty cum.
CanadAssassiN 0
Well sure, but I'd rather have lemon juice in my eye than sperm....ewwww.....>_< besides guys like it better if u swallow ;)
cocainewhore 30
Maybe, but not every girl wants to swallow cum.
Dreamer5393 21
I'd rather have sperm speaking from experience with both.
Femanon 0
Dude. That's not as bad as the time when I literally puked after giving a *******. Dude forgot to tell me he was coming, came in my mouth. The taste and consistency was so disgusting I literally puked seconds after.
UndeadMongrel 7
That's a confidence booster.
EMTchic 14
I can't help but throw up if cum gets in my mouth, I've always just had the heeby-jeebies bout that, idk why . =P
hannahneedles 11
I feel your pain. Same thing happened to me and its unexpected and awful....
Dreamer5393 21
my boyfriend still teases me about puking on his dick when I had the flu. It was awful
whatwhat 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This is God telling you to give more ********.
pogostick_fml 2
Fear of getting squirt in the eye? Get your boy to tell you when he's about to cum. And take it in the mouth.
Marcelb 17
omg, i've found the love of my life, lol
kittyshock 0
#21 harsh... i totally would have too
zachattack 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Cum doesn't taste THAT bad, unless your boyfriend has been eating crap.
oksbaby 0
:))) i'm laughing !!!
d00d_c0m3_0n 0
haha, I agree with #14 Swallow or it gets in your eye 8===D~~]x Spitters are quitters!
dudewitshirt 0
lmao #28
fgsfds 3
I agree with #14 :P