Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I arrived at work early. I noticed the plants on the side of my classroom could use some water so I went out to do so. On the way, I found a beer can. Not wanting the kids to see it, I picked it up but some spilled on my dress. I quickly noticed a familiar smell. No, not beer. Urine. FML
Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
Today, as a joke, my husband filled my son's airtight water bottle with seltzer water before we went to kindergarten. The top blew off when he tried to drink, hitting him in the nose and spraying him with cold water. FML
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
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Top comments
Zuriel45 0
good news is the deer won't be taking any bites out of you.
coldplaylive2003 0
Whose pee was is?
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Comments (80)
der_Jabberwhock 0
I guess just a light mist on the plants would be fine for them. He'll it'll prolly help since it got nitrogen and ammonia. But ueah that sucks
bordemstirs 0
why would leave a bottle of pee where your kid could reach it, you deserve that.
ReeseIsCoolLikeT 0
lmao totally agreed w/ #7
topflight1001 0
That sucks now but you will both be telling that story and laughing when your older...as long as this behavior stops once he is an adult.
your_mother 0
when i read this the first time i thought you said "pants" not "plants" and I'm like why the hell would dear eat your pants?
Drums101 0
LOl I read the same xD !
LostAndFound 0
I'm glad I wasn't the only one. I was seriously worried about clothes-eating deer
DoctorManhattan 0
Well, on the bright side, no deer are going to eat you now.
mishhell 0
Maybe you shouldn't leave that where your son can get to it. JUST A THOUGHT. Parenting and all that, setting boundaries, punishing him, keeping dangerous items hidden, etc, etc.
Muninn 0
... does that really work? I'm serious. I've got a lot of organic tomato, basil, and stevia plants. And even more deer.
Regal6 0
I read 'plants' as 'pants' LOL i was like wtf! AnywayS OP fyl ;)
Regal6 0
I read 'plants' as 'pants' LOL i was like wtf! AnywayS OP fyl ;)