Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I arrived at work early. I noticed the plants on the side of my classroom could use some water so I went out to do so. On the way, I found a beer can. Not wanting the kids to see it, I picked it up but some spilled on my dress. I quickly noticed a familiar smell. No, not beer. Urine. FML
Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML
Today, as a joke, my husband filled my son's airtight water bottle with seltzer water before we went to kindergarten. The top blew off when he tried to drink, hitting him in the nose and spraying him with cold water. FML
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zuriel45 0
good news is the deer won't be taking any bites out of you.
coldplaylive2003 0
Whose pee was is?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
iKaite 0
AnnieLenox person, Reasons like that why you're never gonna get married, and die a lonely miserable spinster, for the rest of your wretched years.
Qup 0
Annie needs to have her tubes tied and any one who knows her who has children needs to keep her away from them!!!! ydi for letting little one have access.
geek_in_the_pink 0
family is the best
lukewarmocha 0
well at least the deer won't bother you.
InkGothical 0
Why were either of these bottles in a place where your son could get to them? God forbid you used REAL deer repellant and he hand drunk some or he sprayed you in the eyes. I see this as being completely your fault. Such gardening tools SHOULD NOT be reachable by young'uns.
tian447 0
Obviously I'm not the only person to be curious about this, but... where exactly do you acquire the urine to spray on the plants?
sawdy 0
i love your name:)
lovely997 0
Grody
Siren_00 0
Either he was old enough to know better, or young enough that he shouldn't have been able to REACH IT. YDI.
Tsukasa_fml 0
Or the bottle should have been labelled. In any case, YDI.
malaproposDame 0
URINE IS STERILE.
juilly_fml 3
yea like as you pee it out not when it's been sitting around in a bottle for god knows how long. urgh :s
yashr123 0
im pretty sure itd be clean in a bottle from the short time its floating from mid air - bottle... just a guess but i know i would keep pee in a CLOSED CONTAINER so unless bacteria can crawl its way in and open the bottle i think itll still be relatively clean