Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom thought it would be funny to wake me up with a monster mask on, holding a knife, and screaming, "I'm going to kill you!" My first response was to punch her in the face then kick her. Guess who's grounded for a month. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, my mom came to my room to tell me that there were guests coming over. Five minutes later, she came to my room to scream at me for not doing the dishes, “like she just told me.” When? FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
MADD: Moms Against Dirty Dishes
Aligator67 12
Sounds like an... Interesting mom. Good luck OP. FYL
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Comments (95)
gumbler 5
My brother did that once. However he now knows I sleep with my baseball bat beside my bed every night.
browneyedshortie 4
How does one come up with this idea as a punishment...?? As funny as it is... This took some dark thoughts to finally come to this conclusion.
stargirl_95 24
Were you making food for yourself or for the whole family? If it was the former then YDI, no one should have to clean up after you and if you're old enough to make your own food then you're old enough to clean up after yourself. If it was the latter then FYL because it's unfair of your mother to expect you to cook for everyone and wash all the dishes. In my household whoever doesn't cook for everyone has to wash the dishes. I thought that it would be the same elsewhere.
SavannahSunshine 26
What method of payback do you see fit? Because I find this one fairly flawless. You obviously seem scared enough to remember to do the dishes next time, so, mission accomplished! Go mom! But anyway, I'm sorry this happened to you, it could have been worse though... She could have screamed from your scream and like stabbed you or something
JMichael 26
I bet your ass learned to wash the dishes next time.
Undecided_Jesus 8
Just be glad that she didn't drop the knife while laughing.
kingbling11 12
When the river runs red, take the dirt track instead!
shutupmichaela 18
the **** are you talking about
Dynosaur_dollie 38
I think that was meant for the other FML about the birthday sex.
PainOfDemise 11
That's an awesome mom.
Callilah 13
Your mom has an extremely dark sense of humor....
cmbar831 14
Should have washed those dishes