Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom thought it would be funny to wake me up with a monster mask on, holding a knife, and screaming, "I'm going to kill you!" My first response was to punch her in the face then kick her. Guess who's grounded for a month. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, my mom came to my room to tell me that there were guests coming over. Five minutes later, she came to my room to scream at me for not doing the dishes, “like she just told me.” When? FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
MADD: Moms Against Dirty Dishes
Aligator67 12
Sounds like an... Interesting mom. Good luck OP. FYL
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Comments (95)
fk18 27
Your mom sounds awesome
lsg3000 6
3 words: Creepy as hell!
BFons 19
Sounds like that Simpsons episode where Homer bursts into Bart's room with a chainsaw.
CooperRage 13
Wasn't there some brownies involved too? Mmmmmmmmmmm. Brownies.
zandalee 20
Seems to me, you won't be forgetting to do your own dishes and cleaning up again.
KinkyCurly 13
Doing dishes is the worst so I'm with your mom on this one! Do your own dishes next time!!
perdix 31
Just holding the knife? In some households, not doing the dishes could cost you a pinkie toe.
LostMy_Marbles 24
Maybe my mum should use this tactic on my siblings, might work on them ;) Tough luck though OP, make sure you don't forget to hang the clothes out either!
JoJo91_fml 8
she was holding it over you to show you that you forgot to wash it... yup that's it LOL
Solipsist 12
Your mum is a ****.
bluemidnight 9
How is she a ****? She was just telling him to do the dishes. Yes it was in a dramatic way, but still... He should just wash the damn dishes.
arandomusernameaa 20
#22 I think that is a bit.. blunt... of you to call her a **** without knowing her...
Solipsist 12
Scaring the shit out of someone in the middle of the night with a knife just seems like a pretty cunty thing to do to me.
ZY1431 24
lucky I got hit once or twice forgetting the dishes.