Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my mom said, "I'm sorry your life is such shit." She meant it as an apology. FML
Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I had a meeting with my daughter's headmistress, which I thought went well, until I was walking to my car past the open staff room window and I heard her say to other teachers, “Jesus, I can see where that brat [my daughter's name] gets her shitty attitude from… and her fat arse.” They all laughed. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML
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Top comments
Railroader 16
Just waiting for all those crappy puns to appear
khaoticpanda 28
Have fun cleaning that up!
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Comments (52)
starsinthenight 7
Am I the only one that thought of a bathroom fan when OP mentioned the fan?
I_am_TheSixth 15
these fans are pretty shitty