Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made a pot of chili. My wife came home, sniffed the air, and said, "You're sleeping in the guest room until you eat all that chili. You fart like a trucker and I can't sleep." FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML
Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML
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Top comments
bigbadtim 7
Burn, burn, burn, the burning ring of fire.
liquidSELECT 0
Your a nice guy for eating it :D your a good guy
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Comments (127)
JinxosGirl87 0
You're a very brave man who won't be able to sit for a week.
obamathellama 0
What color was it?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Spicy chili is delicious, it's well worth the burn on your ass later on, I respect you op. :)
taty7659 4
Haha did u ever consider that before ?? Retard obviously ur not mexican
thethatoneguy_21 4
Ahhh, the things we do for love.....kind of sad really
Phendraana 0
um, food doesn't digest & excrete within an hour...
xSynergY 8
He didn't say anything about going to the washroom an hour later. Simply gave a thought about what's bound to happen. Smart ass
xSynergY 8
Your illiterate don't argue kid. Take some university English and get your stuff together.
every1luvsboners 11
xSynergY, "your" illiterate? If university English classes taught you that you need to get a refund, my friend.
xSynergY 8
My writing doesn't have to be correct in posting crap, the point of this is being able to read and get the correct information out of it. Your a smart ass as well.
every1luvsboners 11
xSynergY, "Your" a smartass? I can't tell if you're trolling or just this stupid. Normal people learn from their mistakes and thank the people that are showing them the correct way to do things. Idiots are defensive and learn nothing, hence you. Gofuckyourselfyouidiotfuckwadpieceofshit. Yeah, that's one word, look it up.
mrssuarez2011 12
No, they're right. OPs sentence did imply he had to use the bathroom an hour later due to the chili.
deadman93 8
haha.... udder....
funnyfiona 0
Maybe it felt like an hour....
Llama_Face89 34
You, sir, are a dedicated boyfriend.
wlfmanjack 5
can i get the some of that chili please :)
oxxxjackyxxxo 3
THATS LOVE !
AlikeSeeker9 10
I feel your pain O.P my boyfriend father made chili today and it was really spicy but I ate it anyways, and I'm in the same position as you.