Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me, got up, and slammed the door. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
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Top comments
Andicc 19
Be glad to be rid of the tramp
misspulkadot24 17
I think she has her priorities off...
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Comments (131)
Rainhawk94 27
next time knock...that.bitch out
Dusty_Busters 15
Well said sir.
911_Guy 5
Well, that escalated quickly.
sunnyray812 42
Would've been better if you did knock...the door down!
Silentcrafter11 13
That's not funny.
hollyanne27 9
Not funny...but clever (:
sunnyray812 42
I tried.
AllegroRubato 16
Ah! Good old deflection, a mainstay in the shitty partner arsenal!
ulissey_fml 22
Soon you'll be so happy you didn't knock...her up !
Little4Bear 10
Semi-bad pun.. But otherwise agreed. Sorry that had to happen to you OP, but atleast you know her true colors. Hope you cycled that tramp out of your life to find someone better :)
thebomb553 5
That's when you act like some chick is calling you for sex as well. Oh, and please act logically and DUMP HER
Wizardo 34
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks... seriously be glad you're done with her.
michelleJ11 25
Sorry OP :/ at least you learned that she was a worthless bitch before you got any farther in your relationship. There are NO excuses for cheating; I hope you broke up with her.
PenguinBitch 44
Looks like she got *lowers sunglasses* ....knocked up. Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
NoFlippinWai 24
That... was horrible. :-) Try again.
Dusty_Busters 15
No way that was rad!
allie2590 31
*smashes sunglasses* Enough!!
gracehi 33
Seriously? Like, what the the ****? Who the Hell doesn't knock? Tsk, tsk, OP. How rude of you.
TyT63 12
**** logic