Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
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Top comments
abNormal62 23
So apparently, neither of you were completely stable when this occurred?
Hidghetti 14
I would've done the same thing
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Comments (68)
sythe511 28
You deserve it, as shouting obscenities shouldn't be your immediate first reaction
DoomedGemini 38
As opposed to swinging?
Makko 20
That's why you never shout that in public, or anywhere for that matter. You don't know who's watching when you do it. Just shrug and turn around.
limabeans101029 21
So if you thought someone was trying to rob you or attack you, you'd "just shrug and turn around"?
Brandi_Faith 34
It's not like yelling F off is actually going to stop the attacker though. So why bother saying it?
Gillett 23
That's why his ass has a cane, don't feel bad. Those old ducks ***** think they can just do anything without anyone telling them about themselves. Get a hover round you clumsy bastard. Hate me of you want, I don't care.
lilevilsmurf 4
There's no way you could have known, I probably would have done the same. He couldn't have been too surprised that you thought you were getting robbed and an apology on each end should have sufficed. Don't beat yourself up too much you didn't know!
uchihadesendent 14
I don't swear but I would have reacted the same way then felt guilty if I was in your position but mistakes happen
Hurley_fml 21
Not your fault, I would have probably reacted the same. Also, who knows, maybe he was actually trying to steal your bag but played it off as being an unsteady senior?
danm_1 28
something similar happened to me at school! someone kept tapping my shoulder, while standing outside the classroom. I thought it was my friend, so I yelled "piss off", but it turned out to be a very surprised teacher.
zykrithium 22
******* old people, am I right?
Mobetta_2300 22
i wouldnt say tht at all, if it was a pretty girl, u couldve gotten laid, a guy wouldnt do tht since its "gay", a child would be touching ur leg, an elderly person wouldve felt elderly by sense of touch, not sight. either way, fyl for looking like an asshole, ydi for not using common sense. Hopefully u apologized instantly
limabeans101029 21
You aren't making much sense. Firstly, I doubt any woman would attempt to flirt by pulling someone's bag off their shoulder. Secondly, I'm sure male-robbers (since that's what OP assumed was happening) wouldn't avoid robbing other men because it's "gay". Thirdly, we don't even know that OP is a guy. I couldn't really decipher the rest of the comment
Avashantu 18
What do you do with your life for that to be your natural reflex? That's my question.