Today, I had to blow my nose. Trying to be a considerate roommate, I tiptoed over to the bathroom in the dark, which would have been fine, if I hadn't tripped over a chair and crushed the art project that she's been working on for the past month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML
Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML
Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML
Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom, but the door was closed. I waited until I was pretty much about to explode, and eventually yelled, "Are you okay?" and my roommate replied, "What are you talking about? Oh, sorry. I left the light on." How do you close the door and forget to turn off the light? FML
Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
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Top comments
liebe_dich 0
That's unfortunate. But I think she shouldn't have just left it out where it could get ruined.
FYLDeep 26
You'd make a shitty ninja. Unless you were out to assassinate art projects.
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Comments (73)
dani_ftw 0
you my friend , could never be a ninja .
saleha97 4
haha, thats exactly what i thought!
saleha97 4
so much for being polite.
SirEBC 7
YDI for trying to be courteous.
sandabelle25 0
that would SO happen to me if i didnt know myself enough to know that would probably happen to me ur a spaz
YummiGummi 0
ohhhh maaannn :o
cookie_wookie 0
fail much?
emilyxorawr 3
Just say you were sleep walking.
Taipan_fml 0
If she lives in a dorm there might not be room to just put it somewhere else. Depending on its size and level of completion, it might also be kinda hard to just be moving it all over the place. Plus, the thing's been there for a month - shouldn't you know to watch out by now...? AND cell phones make decent flashlights, so YDI and FHL.
IneffableLullaby 13
**** your roommate's life. She must be so mad at you, OP.
witch00321 0
How loudly do you blow your nose that you need to leave the room..?