Today, I had to blow my nose. Trying to be a considerate roommate, I tiptoed over to the bathroom in the dark, which would have been fine, if I hadn't tripped over a chair and crushed the art project that she's been working on for the past month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML
Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML
Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML
Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom, but the door was closed. I waited until I was pretty much about to explode, and eventually yelled, "Are you okay?" and my roommate replied, "What are you talking about? Oh, sorry. I left the light on." How do you close the door and forget to turn off the light? FML
Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
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Top comments
liebe_dich 0
That's unfortunate. But I think she shouldn't have just left it out where it could get ruined.
FYLDeep 26
You'd make a shitty ninja. Unless you were out to assassinate art projects.
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Comments (73)
DVecc 0
maybe she should of kept it off the floor...
eclecticstrings 0
*have kept it seriously, do you go to school? "of kept it"? jeez.
Zombies_Rule 0
Maybe he doesn't care? Maybe he likes to say "shoulda" "wanna". It's a free country right? So stop tryin to correct people on every little mistake. FML will never be a perfect website. Learn that now. And plus, some people, such as myself, have an iPhone/iPod/iPad, which all 3 have auto-correct. And if I wanna say Y'all because I'm from the south, I can.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Exactly. This isn't a grammar or proper English site. This is for entertainment and amusement purposes. We're not being graded, so stfu! Get a life and let people enjoy something that's meant to be enjoyed - not criticized.
lbeer 1
dumb ass
talktomandybaby 8
i hate your picture.... justin bieber is amazing<33333
alakomonus 0
....... I'm bout to pop a cap in yo ass
underpaid011 0
big deal. tell her to title the piece "crushed art project" and say her inspiration was "my dumb ass clumsy roommate". it's art! anything goes!
enoughgrace 4
your too underpaid for these comments...
GriZzliie 3
badoum tiss
RollSnakeEyes 0
dumb bitch, why is it in the ground
dani_ftw 0
maybe it was on a table or something, and when OP tripped, they tried to grab something so they wouldnt fall , and whats better than OP's roommates project right?
dawilcox 0
she shouldn't leave her shit around the house where it could get ruined
mimsicle95 0
I bet we'll be seeing her fml, "my stupid roommate crushed my project!"
BassGuitarDude 0
Hide it somewhere and say someone broke in and stole it. haha
REGGIEstration 4
Ever heard of something called 'light'? Yeah you turn it on so you don't do stupid stuff like these...
fisheatsbear 6
the point of doing in the dark was because she didn't want to wake her roommate...
emodude44 0
Typical Texans...
Wazilla 0
#26 please reread dumbass