Today, I tried to rent the new Aladdin with my '90s obsessed war vet roommate. Thirty seconds into the opening credits, he begins screaming that the movie is trash, and then rents out the original. He re-rented the new one and trashed it the whole time, ranting that Jasmin should be beheaded for speaking over a man. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I was entertaining my date by suggesting a movie on Netflix. I confidently picked one that I thought was new and amazing. After the first 10 minutes, I realized it was a terrible sequel to a movie I'd completely forgotten about. I spent the rest of the movie in silence, pretending I was into it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to see the new Avatar movie I’ve waited over 10 years to see. After it was over, she just said, "That was utter shite, why did you bring me here?" Entire experience ruined. FML
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
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Top comments
IHaveThePower 18
Aladdin, the story, was originally set in China, and the remake is set in Mughal India. And even if it were set in the Ottoman Empire, that wasn't a thing back then--that's a modern-day 'evangelical Islamist' thing. Your war vet friend has no idea how history works.
RawrXD 4
I strongly suggest you move out.
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Comments (6)
IHaveThePower 18
Aladdin, the story, was originally set in China, and the remake is set in Mughal India. And even if it were set in the Ottoman Empire, that wasn't a thing back then--that's a modern-day 'evangelical Islamist' thing. Your war vet friend has no idea how history works.
RVJ 26
She certainly should.
RawrXD 4
I strongly suggest you move out.
Yudith 28
The original one, with princess Badrulbudur and an 8-year-old Aladdin?
RichardPencil 32
Wait? We can do that? I could have women that talked over me beheaded? Why am I just finding out about this now? That coulda saved me a lot of trouble!